Page 86 of Beautiful Killer

Her lips were parted and her tongue darted out, sliding along the top one. “Yeah.”

Christ, I wanted her. Maybe I couldn’t give her the big love she deserved, but no one would care for her like I could. Would worship her like I would. I’d almost lost her tonight. Just the idea was fucking me up. Sunny, the baby, they were my responsibility, and that meant giving them what they needed. I didn’t matter in this. If I had to fake who I was, pretend to be a man I wasn’t for the rest of my damn life, I would, because I would not let her go. I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to let her walk out of my life. I’d made my decision. There was no other option for me. “Lie down, Sunshine. Get some rest,” I said, voice wrecked.

She blinked up at me, and she was twisting the ring on her thumb. “Will you stay with me? I’m still feeling kind of shaken.”

That worked for me. I was having trouble walking away, even if it was just down to the couch. “Yeah.” I stripped down to my boxers, climbed in beside her, and stared up at the stars through the sky window. Now I just had to work out how to tell Sunny how I felt. I had to somehow convince her to take a chance on me. A man who sure as fuck didn’t deserve her.

She rolled into me, slid an arm across my stomach, and rested her head on my chest. I glanced down at her hand, the moonlight glinting off the gold band on her thumb.

I covered her hand with mine, sliding my own thumb over it. “I’ve never seen you with this off. You twist it when you’re stressed.”

She stilled. “Yeah . . . I guess I do.” Her warm breaths slid over my bare chest. “It was my dad’s, his wedding ring when he was married to my mom.”

“I didn’t think you were close with him,” I said.

“That’s why I wear it, as a reminder.”

Something coiled tight behind my ribs. “A reminder of what?”

She was quiet for a few seconds, and I wasn’t sure she was going to tell me.

“It’s a reminder . . . that I don’t need anyone else. That I can do it on my own, like I have my whole life,” she said softly.

Fuck.I lay there, staring up at the sky, not sure what to say, so many emotions swirling inside me, I didn’t know how to deal with them. I hated that she ever felt that way.

“Night, Zeke,” she finally said.

“Night.” Sunny didn’t deserve the shit she’d been through, to feel like she didn’t matter, to go it alone. Well, that was over now. I’d make sure of it.

* * *

I’d just decided to live the life my men lost and as much as I wanted it, I hated myself for it. That ever-present guilt was stronger than ever. Deep inside I knew I should let her go. I was dooming her to a half life, wasn’t I? She deserved a man who would love her with everything he had. I didn’t even know if I was capable of that anymore.

Despite that, I knew I still couldn’t let her walk away.

I didn’t go to sleep for a long time after that. I listened to her slow, even breaths and told myself she was okay, that finally she was safe.

I woke when Sunny wriggled beside me. The sun was up. I glanced down my body, she was still curled into my side, her face smooshed against me, out cold. I kept on watching her, for a long time, watched her slowly wake up, those beautiful eyes blinking up at me.

“Morning,” I said.

“Hey.”

Her voice was raspy, sexy as hell. “Been waiting for you to wake up.”

She tried to sit up. “Oh, do we need to go somewhere? You should have woken me.”

I held her where she was. “We don’t need to go anywhere. Wanted to talk to you.”

She bit her lip and I saw that fucking blank stare move in.

“Don’t,” I said.

She pushed her hair back from her face. “Don’t what?”

“Hide. You do that, darlin’. You’ve been doing that since the second time I came to you.” I slid my thumb over her chin. “Not the first, though. That first night, you hid nothing from me, you gave it all. You weren’t going to see me again, which meant no risk to you, yeah?”

“Zeke . . .”