Page 68 of Beautiful Killer

I stared after her, my gut telling me something else was going on. I shook my head at my own thoughts.

I should be happy, right? She’d just made this easier on me. I hadn’t been strong enough to end it. Too damn weak to walk away. Even now, I wanted to follow her up those stairs, throw her on the bed, and make her scream my name one more time. Pretend for a little while longer that she was mine. How was I going to go back to the way it was before? Before I had Sunshine in my world?

She came down the stairs a short time later. “I called Julia. She’s fine with me staying.”

An urge inside me, to force her to do what I wanted, was almost suffocating. To tell her she had to come to my place. That I needed to be the one to look after her. That I needed to go to sleep with her at night and wake with her in the morning. Even the nightmares hadn’t been as frequent when I had Sunny beside me.

Instead, I took her bag from her and headed for the door. She got into my car and waited while I put her bag in the trunk, then she stared out the window, avoiding me. I hated it. Loathed it with everything in me.

“I’m sorry,” I said finally when the silence got too much. I was almost surprised those were the words that came out. Not when “don’t leave” was on a constant loop in my head.

She turned to me, those violet eyes blinking up at me. “It’s not your fault, Zeke. None of it.” Her voice was soft, had a little more rasp to it than usual.

“Sunny . . .”

Her hand came down on the steering wheel, over mine. “I approached you that night, remember? I started all this. Which kind of makes it my fault, if you want to point fingers.” Then she smiled, her bright, crooked smile at me.

It didn’t reach her eyes.

I turned away before I did or said something I couldn’t take back.

We reached Julia’s and pulled up outside the building. Despite my need to have her with me, I knew she’d be safe here. This was the same building Neco and Ruby lived in. Neco was particular about security, like the rest of us were. Not only was the security tight, Neco was on hand if something went down. Didn’t mean I liked it, though. Not just because I still wanted her in my bed, and I did, but because I hated the idea of anyone but me looking after her.

Somehow, I had to get the hell over it, because one day she’d meet someone, someone not fucked up like me. Someone that could give her the life she deserved.

I shoved my door open. “I’ll grab your bags.”

Sunny climbed out after me and we headed into the building. Every step closer to the elevator, my feet felt heavier, my gut tighter. We climbed in and she hit the button for the third floor. As soon as the doors closed, silence engulfed us. In movies, this is the moment the guy goes in for the kiss, or hits the emergency button and fucks his woman against the wall. I wanted Sunny so much I couldn’t think straight, but there would be no out of control, desperate kiss for us.

Because Sunny was done.

It was the end.

Shit, I felt sick.

“Thanks for the ride over here,” she said into the silence.

I gritted my teeth. It was only mere hours ago that she told me how much she loved me inside her. Now we were through.

I wouldn’t get to wake up with her tomorrow morning.

It’s for the best.

Yeah? Then why did it feel the complete opposite of that?

The door slid open and she walked out, like she couldn’t get away fast enough. I followed behind to Julia’s apartment, waited for the door to open after she knocked. Julia answered then pulled Sunny in. I put her bags down inside the door and stood there, not wanting to leave. Though I knew ending what we had was the right thing to do, I still wanted to hear the reason why from her. But going by the way Sunny was standing at the door, holding it open for me to leave, I wasn’t going to find out.

I moved back out into the hall and looked down at her. Jesus, she was so damn beautiful, and it was only amplified by the beauty she had inside. “Call me, if you’re worried, or you need me for anything, understand?” She knew Neco and Ruby lived in this building and the way she was looking at me now, I knew my number would be a last one she’d call. Shit, that cut. Deep. Panic rushed me, and I wanted to grab her and make her tell me why she was doing this.

She took a step closer and I goddamn swayed toward her. Her hand went to my forearm and she squeezed. “Thanks, Zeke.”

Then she let go, stepped back . . .

I grabbed her wrist and her head shot up, eyes round.

I slid my thumb over her skin, her racing pulse. “Just . . . be careful, will you? And I don’t just mean Bobby. Watch where you’re walking and be careful with that fucking soldering iron,” I bit out. “Okay?”

She nodded and offered me a small smile . . . then closed the door in my face.