Page 28 of Postmarked December

Maybe change itself was the crescendo she was looking for. Toby’s absence followed her everywhere, a constant weight that reshaped her routines. She found herself grieving not only what she’d lost, but the person she’d been before the cancer happened, realizing that her life would never return to its previous shape. Processing the loss meant accepting the change it demanded of her. While Marion and her other friends helped her mask the grief with laughter and a change of subject, Nick seemed to force her to accept it. Because by feeling something when she was with him, she had to acknowledge that her time with Toby was fully over. Maybe that was why she was struggling to meet him right now.

She stared at the words she’d written to Toby, wishing he could talk back. His voice filtered into her mind. Sheesh. You’re already getting physical notes from me. What more do you want, actual miracles now? She smiled.

Speaking of notes, he’d promised her the next one if she got herself a cider. So much for blowing off her lunch date. She’d better go if she wanted the next message. She checked herself in the mirror, grabbed her room key and her phone, and headed out the door.

Nick was waiting at the lobby bar when she came down.

“Getting an early start?” She eyed his empty glass.

A smirk surfaced. “Soda.” After dropping some cash on the counter, Nick thanked the bartender and hopped off the stool. “After you.” He gestured toward the exit.

A bellman opened the door for them, the cold winter air wrapping around her and giving her a shiver.

“The hotel restaurant is getting a bit claustrophobic, so I took the liberty of searching for something different. I called us a car. It should be pulling up,” Nick said, leading her to the main drive.

So much for getting her own car to be safe…

“Where should we go for lunch?” she asked.

“Do you like pizza?”

“I do.”

“Good. Because I also made the executive decision to get us a reservation in town. The ratings are great, and it’s on the way.”

Out of nowhere, a lump formed in her throat just as the car pulled up. Thank goodness for the distraction. Why was she so emotional? Nick opened her door and she climbed in, desperately searching for an answer.

As he chatted with the driver, she realized the pizza restaurant was what had done it. Toby had always taken care of the plans. He was great at it. All she’d had to do was show up. But since he’d passed, the weight of preparation had fallen on her shoulders, and only now did she realize how something so simple as making sure things happened on time had weighed on her. Because of it, many times, she’d opted to stay at home rather than try to find someone to meet her. In this one moment, Nick had illuminated how alone she’d been.

Luckily, by the time the car pulled away, she’d pulled herself together. Then, her phone rang.

“Do you need to get that?” he asked.

No one would be calling her. It was probably a reporter. She shook her head and silenced her phone. “I don’t recognize the number. I’ll just see if they leave a message.” Turning her phone face down in her lap, she asked, “How was your meeting?”

“It was very productive. Everything looked amazing. I’m excited to show it to the client.”

“When do you do that?”

“We’ve still got a little while. But my work on it is finished.”

She checked her phone and whoever called had left a message. With all the strange notes she’d gotten, should she listen to it? After all, she was on her way to get cider. Had Toby managed to leave a voice message for her? Wouldn’t that be incredible?

“You can listen to that if you need to.” Nick nodded toward her phone.

“Okay, thanks.” Awkwardly, she hit play and put the phone to her ear.

“Hello, Mrs. Hart, my name is Alex Branson from People’s Entertainment. We were hoping to catch up with you to ask some questions about your late husb⁠—”

Heather hung up. She tried to discreetly block the number, the way she had for all the rest, but Nick was watching her, so she didn’t.

“Everything all right?” he asked.

“Sales call.” She huffed out an unconvincing laugh.

Nick’s attention lingered on her phone a tick longer than it should have.

She was going to have to come out and tell him about Toby. Maybe she would at lunch, or when she got the next letter. But should she? Would Toby want her to divulge their private affairs? He didn’t even let her listen to his demos when he’d written a new song, so she felt nervous about telling Nick anything for fear that she wouldn’t be honoring Toby. And once Nick knew who she was, he might look at her differently. She wanted to get to know him a bit more first.