Page 64 of The Plus One Pact

"What happened that led to my divorce?" I ask.

She nods, yes. "Was it him? Did he cheat? Or did you fall out of love?"

Downstairs, the front door opens. It must be Romeo with the suitcases.

Amara bites her lip as she looks to me. "It's nothing personal. I just… I want him to be with someone who takes her commitments seriously. And you seem like that person. But…"

But I have a scarlet D on my forehead.

"So, tell me, woman to woman. What happened? Why is it you're available now?"

Chapter Fifteen

Ivy

What are the acceptable reasons to leave your husband?

Maybe it's okay if he leaves you. If you're the one who stuck it out. Who tried the hardest.

I tried a lot. I tried forever. For too long.

That can't be the right thing to say. I can't say hey, we always had this little problem in the bedroom, but it got a lot worse, and he was always saying it would get better. He'd see a therapist, soon. He'd stop watching porn, soon. He'd work it all out, soon.

Maybe he meant it, at the time.

But soon never came. And eventually I had to wonder why this person who loved me was so comfortable lying to me.

But look at me here, helping your son, who obviously loves you, lie to you. It's not like I can talk about honesty, now can I?

I gave my ex a timeline. I said this is better by July, or I leave.

It wasn't, so I did.

Does that mean I left?

Or that he abandoned me?

It's not a cut and dry answer. No one did anything too horrible to forgive. Not by any sort of normal standards, anyway. But we both did things that hurt too much for the other to forgive.

And, well—

It's just so strange looking back on my ex-husband and trying to figure out how the man I met and fell in love with became the man I divorced. It's not that he's a bad guy now.

We're still friends. It's a lot easier to be friendly without the why don't you want to have sex / why are you so obsessed with sex elephant in the room.

Romeo didn't warn me about this.

He didn't warn me to keep my divorce a secret or tell me how to spin it.

She wants someone who tries to save their marriage. She wants someone who will try with her son.

I do try. I have grit. I have a PhD!

"You know it is with men," I say. "No matter how hard you try, if they don't want to change, they won't." It's the truth, more or less, but it's vague enough to fit my situation. Or invite her to imagine bad behavior on his part.

She taps her chin, turning over my answer, deciding how I fit into her image of her son's ideal future wife.

Footsteps move up the stairs.