Page 4 of Looking for Seth

My phone pinged again, reminding me that we were in the middle of a conversation.

I let out an amused chuckle, gaining a strange look from Tut in response. He had no idea what was going on, and it showed.

Though I suspected it was the former.

I inhaled sharply, unsure what to make of the offer. I already knew that was what she wanted. She'd made no secret of it. And yet, now the offer was out in the open, it made me want to run away and not look back.

Tut whined and looked up from his bone, seeming to sense my distress.

"What should I do?" I asked my dog.

He cocked his head to the side as if trying to work out the best way to answer before turning his attention back to his bone. Did that mean he thought that I should let things stay the same? I shook my head. He was a dog. He didn't have any of the answers, no matter how much I wanted him to.

My phone pinged before I could think of a good response.

I swallowed hard. She was giving me the out that I felt like I needed, and yet I couldn't ignore the disappointment welling up within me.

I hit send before I could overthink it. She deserved to know where I stood, even if it wasn't in the same place she wanted me to be.

Or the same place that I was.

Her response came quickly enough that I believed it to be genuine, though it didn't do anything to alleviate the guilt growing within me.

A small rumble filled the air before I could hit send, and I looked up to see a storm cloud hovering above my head. "Go away," I muttered, waving my hand at it. How could one human be making me feel so strongly that I was creating storm clouds? The actual storm brewing outside was probably making it easier for me to conjure one, but that wasn't the point.

I pushed aside the worry growing within me at the thought of letting her down. Maybe it would be better to tell her that she should move on and find someone who could actually fulfil her needs and go on a date with her.

The small storm cloud returned, brought about by the angry jealousy within me. I didn't want her to find someone else. I wanted her to spend that time with me. Which meant that I needed to find a way to be the man she thought I was instead of continuing to play a game of chicken like this.

I just hoped it wasn't going to be too late by the time I finally managed to agree to a date.

Chapter 3

Menhit

I checked my phone, something I'd been doing with increasing regularity since I'd started messaging with Saul. There was something about him that constantly drew my attention, even if we were only talking via a dating app and not in person.

That was the next step, but every time I hinted at the possibility of the two of us going on a proper date, he changed the subject. It was almost enough to make me wonder whether he was actually interested. But whenever I convinced myself that it wasn't worth going through all of this, he'd say something utterly charming, and I'd be unable to ignore him for long.

My phone buzzed in my hand, bringing a smile to my face and filling me with a sense of satisfaction that I hadn't been hoping for Saul to message in vain. I clicked onto the message, unsurprised to find a photo of his adorable dog trying to squish himself into a chair much too small for him.

I sent the message without thinking twice about it. Messaging him was easy, and it felt as if I'd known him for years, even if we'd only been talking for a couple of weeks, and only ever online.

I grinned to myself, hardly believing that something this mundane could be what it took to remind me of the excitement that dating could bring with it.