Page 18 of Last Destination

I absorbed her pain, gripping her more firmly against the beating of my heart, grateful to hear her cries instead of the silence of her death. Each tear drop fed a well inside me, the collection of torment a reminder of my responsibility to my ángel.

Temo que tengas mi corazón. The thought remained with me when we crested the hill. I fear you have my heart.

Madman’s arms were a comforting cage carrying me up the hill like I weighed nothing. His grip never faltered, even when I sobbed and shook like an out-of-control blender. My tears dried up by the time we got back to our base camp, but the skin around my eyes was so tight and puffy, my eyelids pinged with every blink.

The sun was setting beyond the trees when Madman safely deposited me back into my sleeping hole. Then he and Jamie returned to the river to get more water. Tessa and Ambrose set up the fire and chunks of snake flesh on a makeshift spit. Nikki held my hand and stroked my hair while I fought with every breath to avoid descending into madness. Potent terror still permeated my bones and into my marrow. Every pump of my heart forced more fear through my body instead of taking it away.

The Darién kept placing windows of death in my path. Why did I keep trying to close them?

The enticing scent of smoldering meat as we huddled around the fire was almost enough to make me forget it was the body of the being that had almost eaten me for dinner. Ambrose’s quick thinking and Madman’s strength, Nikki’s willingness to fight his fear of the water, and Tessa’s surprisingly savage attack. Without them, I wouldn’t be here numbly staring into the flames and wishing it had finished the job.

None of that, Charlie chided indignantly. Her ghostly body floated just above my head like a too-big “devil on my shoulder.” You just had six people fight an anaconda to save your life. Can’t you see how much you mean to them?

Right. Jamie had helped, too. Him pulling the snake like a fire hose from a reel was no small part of why I had survived. If I hadn’t panicked and tumbled in after him, so fixated on saving my stupid co-pilot from drowning, I wouldn’t have been snake bait to begin with, but I couldn’t even blame him for that. I would have done it for any member of our crew who couldn’t swim.

Goose bumps pebbled every inch of my flesh in spite of the heat of the dense air and the searing fire. I wrapped my arms around my knees in an attempt to console the deep ache in my chest. Snakes had been my greatest fear since childhood. An irrational little fear that had morphed into terror over time. And today, the very worst outcome imaginable had happened. My living and breathing nightmare had almost kissed me with death. When Nikki’s breaths had brought me back to the land of the living, the fear remained as locked in my chest as when the snake had tightened its final coil before I’d passed out.

The adrenaline still coursed through my veins like an endless drug, and my heart wouldn’t stop accelerating like the snake was still here wrapped around me, its briny smell coating my skin.

“Hey, baby girl.”

Nikki’s soothing croon broke through the haze of my thoughts and I finally noticed his warm hand stroking my back over the still-damp fabric of my T-shirt. I leaned into his touch, grateful I was still here to sit beside him, even with my discomfort. Nothing in this godforsaken forest ever actually dried. If Jamie and Tess weren’t here, I’d strip naked and let the bugs eat me alive instead of having to spend another day in damp clothing.

God. I was beginning to sound like Ambrose.

But Jamie was here. They all were. They cast furtive glances my way every few seconds with concern marring their faces, like I was a delicate ceramic doll about to crack into a million pieces.

Maybe I was. Charlie hadn’t left my side in hours, hovering like a thick cloud and often not saying anything at all, making me truly wonder if I was hallucinating, or if she was a permanent companion I’d always had but never recognized.

Tessa took two sticks that made do for tongs, and pulled a large piece of the snake off the limb they’d set up over the fire.

“Looks cooked to me,” she announced before placing the meat delicately onto a banana leaf. My stomach lurched up into my ribs when she peeled off the skin, exposing a hunk of pale, almost-pink flesh that resembled a salmon steak with a chicken-like texture. Bile ejected from the back of my throat before I could stop it, and I turned my head away from Nikki to the dark side of my back spewing the hot, burning liquid all over the trunk of a jobo tree three feet away.

After wiping a palm across my lips, I took the smallest sip of water that could roll over my tongue to wash the acid from my mouth. “I don’t think I can eat that,” I mumbled. Nikki’s strokes lengthened along the entire ridge of my spine.

Ambrose plopped down on my other side, looking exhausted. My stomach rioted again, but this time, it was because my shame outweighed my disgust. I hadn’t properly thanked him for his quick thinking. His obscure animal knowledge had saved my life for the second time in as many weeks. There was nothing I could say that would be an appropriate thank you, especially when I wasn’t convinced I was worth it.

He reached for my hand and drew it into his lap, stroking his thumb in circular patterns over my damp skin.

“What would you tell me if I was you?” He posed the question into the fire instead of looking at me directly, and his hand squeezed a little tighter.

He didn't let me get the words out.

“You would say ‘Ambrose, don’t be a meathead, and eat the protein.”’ His voice was much higher pitched than usual in a poor imitation of me.

Nikki released a gentle snort. “You would probably say that, baby girl.” The low tone of his voice washed over me in a comforting wave. “Please, give it a try, okay?”

Madman’s shadow danced across the trees when he bent down to pick up the meat. He brought it over to us, knelt on his haunches, and pulled off a small, lean piece the size of my pinkie finger. Holding it out to me, he said, “Please eat, ángel.” His fingers hovered in front of my face and the flames reflected off the inked patterns on his skin.

Eat, Marley, Charlie echoed on a sing-song, her face at the same level as Madman’s handsome, intimidating frown. One bite, and then two. That’s all you have to do!

My lips molded into a small smile at her rhyme. She was always doing that, making up little jingles and singing them to me like we were little girls again. Madman’s frown deepened in confusion, and I shook my head to clear the thought before grabbing the meat from his hands. It was still hot to the touch, and the smell was slightly fishy, but not unpleasant. If I closed my eyes, I could pop it in my mouth and pretend it was chicken, couldn’t I?

Another burst of powerful acid surged up my throat, but I whipped my head around in time to spray it all over the same tree, just barely missing Ambrose’s ear.

“Nope, I can’t do this.” Shaking my head so hard my teeth ached, I handed the meat to Nikki and clasped my hands in my lap. A soul-deep shudder wracked my limbs like I housed a demon.

“I lived my worst nightmare today, and there’s nothing in the world that can make me separate the meat from the beast.”