Page 55 of The Changeling

‘Midnight?’ he said.

I nodded. He kissed me again, then was gone with a swirl of his velvet cloak and the hurried tapping of his spurs on the cobblestones. I stood, my fingers pressed to my hot, bruised mouth, my heart thundering in my breast.

He loved me. He would not say so if he did not mean for us to, somehow, be together. Carlin looked up at me and wagged her tail. I fondled her soft ears, and smiled. Tonight, Robbie and I would be back in each other’s arms. And I would tell him the truth, and he would say it did not matter, that he loved me no matter who – or what – I was.

He loves me, he loves me, I repeated silently to myself all through the slow hours of waiting. At last the bells rang twelve. I left Carlin sleeping on my bed, and crept down through the dark silent castle and across the yard, doing my best to keep to the shadows. I eased open the door and slipped inside the narrow vaulted hall. Robbie was waiting for me, a candle set on a great oaken barrel. I flew into his arms, and we kissed passionately. Our need was fierce; we had been too long apart. He lifted me onto a barrel, gathering up my skirts. I dragged off his doublet and untucked his shirt, and he laid me back, loosening my bodice so he could bend his mouth to my breast. I clenched my knees about his body, running my hands over the beautiful hard musculature of his back. He groaned and let me go, so he could unfasten his breeches.

‘Robbie,’ I whispered. ‘Please …’

As he plunged within, we both cried out. Holding each other’s gaze, we moved together in perfect harmony, trying to prolong our pleasure as long as possible. Then he shut his eyes and arched his back. I let myself go too, and for one glorious moment we were blind and deaf to the world.

Robbie collapsed, panting, against me, then kissed me and pulled away. Suddenly he grinned at me. ‘Do you realise you’re sitting on a barrel of gunpowder? We’re lucky we did not blow the whole place up.’

As we laughed, the candle flame danced and guttered in a cold blast of wind. Robbie half-turned, as his father stepped inside the door. I gave an alarmed cry and clutched my bodice closed, while Robbie almost fell over in his haste to pull up his breeches.

‘I knew it,’ Lord George said. ‘Lad, what are you thinking? No need to answer! You are not thinking at all. Dress yourself and come with me. You’ll quit Edinburgh first thing in the morn.’

Robbie shook his head. ‘Nay, Father.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘I am a man now. I am in service to the king, and come and go only at his command. And we do not sin here. Caiti and I have sworn to each other.’

‘If you do not sin, why do you meet here, in secret, in this holy place? You desecrate it!’

Colour rose in Robbie’s face. ‘We meet in secret because we knew you would not approve. And this is not a chapel anymore, Father. It has not been a chapel in years. And we come together in love – how can that be wrong?’

‘You know it is wrong, my son. That is why you cannot look at me.’

Robbie met his father’s disapproving gaze squarely. ‘I am glad you discovered us, Father. I love Caiti and she loves me. We want to be together.’

‘You wish to wed her? Do not be a fool, lad. I can understand why you’d want to tumble her; she’s a bonny wee thing. But you must not make promises you cannot keep, Robbie, it’s dishonourable of you.’

At that I shot to my feet. ‘Robbie has no’ been dishonourable! We are handfasted.’ Cheeks burning, I pulled up my sleeve to show him the braided ribbons tied about my wrist.

‘You shall address me as “My lord”, if you are so bold as to speak to me,’ Lord George answered icily. ‘And you shall call my son “Master Graham”.’

‘Father, do not speak to Caiti so,’ Robbie said in distress. ‘Indeed, it is true, we are handfasted. I would not have lain with her otherwise and she would not have lain with me.’

‘Handfasted? It means naught. It’s not legally binding – she has no hold on you.’

‘She has a hold on my heart,’ Robbie said with dignity.

‘Where did this so-called handfasting take place? Who were the witnesses?’

‘Only us.’ Robbie was doing his best to stand his ground, but the scorn in his father’s voice was hard for him to bear.

‘Then it means naught.’

‘It means everything to me.’ Robbie’s voice shook. He looked at me, and I went to his side and entwined my fingers in his.

‘Robbie.’ Lord George held out his hand to his son.

Robbie let me go and went to kneel before his father. Lord George laid one hand on his tumbled chestnut curls. ‘I am sorry, my lad, that you feel that way. For you cannot marry a lowborn lassie, no matter how bonny. You must do your duty by your family and wed a bride chosen for what she can bring to the clan. You must lie with her as often as it takes to get her with babe. That is how we keep our family strong.’

Robbie shook his head, his jaw set.

Lord George said sternly, ‘Do not be such a romantic fool, lad. You are a Graham, and your duty is to your clan and your queen.’