Page 49 of The Changeling

‘I wish we could be together too. But where?’

I thought of his dream house and wanted it so badly it made my heart ache. A home, a garden, a kitchen made just the way I wanted, and Robbie in my bed every night, loving me, holding me in his arms, keeping me safe.

But it was impossible. He was a laird’s son and I was a servant, he was human and I was not, and every moment I did not tell him the truth about my parentage was a lie. Mam had lied to me every day of my life and I had found that very hard to forgive. He would too.

Yet I could not tell him. The words were stones in my throat.

Robbie had been slowly kissing his way down my body, trying to find a way to me through my heavy clothes. Already, his hand was rucking up my skirts. In a moment he would find the skin above my stockings, his fingers would be sliding up my inner thigh, and then we would be lost to the world, unable to stop, making love on the hard, cold ground where anyone might ride by at any moment.

I caught his hands in mine. ‘Robbie, stop. I canna. I have to get back. The queen is having a private supper party this evening, and I need to get ready.’

He groaned. ‘Even the word “private” is enough to make me wild for you. Can I come to you tonight? If I come very late, if I’m very careful?’

‘You would have to sneak past Mistress Gowland, and I swear she doesna sleep.’

‘One odd thing, given the impossibility of ever getting you alone,’ Robbie said. ‘The king has got it into his head that the queen is being unfaithful to him.’

I laughed. ‘How? There is always someone with her. And her Grace is far too clever to risk anyone thinking this babe is no’ the king’s. She dreams of a boy who will inherit her throne and Elizabeth’s, and unite the two crowns.’

‘That is what I thought. Someone must be dripping poison in the king’s ear, though, for he is utterly convinced of it.’

‘Lord James?’

‘Or one of his cronies. Caiti, it is your musician friend he suspects of being the queen’s lover.’

‘Signor Rizzio?’ I stared at him, incredulous. ‘That’s absurd.’

‘It’s what the king believes, and he is in a jealous rage, swearing he will have his revenge.’

My uneasiness grew.

‘You’re shivering,’ Robbie said. ‘It’s freezing out here. Go back inside where it is warm. I, meanwhile, will take a plunge in the icy waters of the spring in a vain attempt to cool my blood.’

‘I’m sorry! I wish we could meet too.’

Robbie kissed me so passionately, I could scarcely stand when at last he let me go. I did not want to leave him, but I knew my absence would be noticed. Reluctantly I went towards the palace, looking back at him before I crossed the park to the palace gate. He was watching me with such longing in his face, I almost turned and ran back to him, the queen be damned. But I touched my fingers to my tingling lips, and blew him a kiss.

He pretended it was an arrow to his heart.

VI

Beware the Bastard

As I hurried about, getting the supper room ready for the queen’s gathering that evening, Signor Rizzio sauntered in, dressed in fine velvets and furs, a satin bonnet on his head.

‘Where have you been all afternoon?’ he asked idly. ‘Mistress Gowland was looking for you.’

I made some excuse, but he was not truly interested. ‘I wanted to show you what the queen has just given me,’ he said, in a proud, boastful way. Politely I looked to see what he held in his hand, expecting another ring or trinket.

He held a stamp of the king’s signature.

‘Since the king is so often absent and cannot be relied on to attend the privy council, I – David Rizzio, once a lowly musician and now the queen’s own secretary – have the power to sign on his behalf. I’m the king’s proxy! That’s near as good as the king himself.’ He gave a little caper, then composed himself, pretending to be very sober and respectable. ‘Now we shall see things begin to happen! Won’t the earl of Moray be cross? He called me a dwarf and a fool. Well, who’s the fool now, Lord James?’

Impulsively I reached out and grasped his hands, crying, ‘But, Signor Rizzio, is that wise?’

The Sight hit me like a hammer. Bearded faces grimacing, daggers flashing, blood gushing, and, behind it all, like a dark shadow, the tall figure and cold eyes of the earl of Moray.

‘Beware the bastard,’ I said in a faint voice that did not sound like my own.