Page 17 of The Changeling

We all knew their parents would not approve.

I kilted my skirts above my knees and sat astride like a boy, and Sorcha put her hands over her mouth in mock horror. But it was the only way I could learn to gallop, and that I was determined to do.

On Candlemas, the village came together to feast and dance after the solemn procession to bless the candles in the church. I was ashamed of my uneven gait and afraid of being teased, and so I did not join in as everyone skipped and twirled around the meadow. It hurt me to watch Robbie whirling about with the other girls. I wished I was as graceful and light-footed. The next new moon, the first of spring, I jabbed my finger hard with a pin and wrote with my own blood, I wish Robbie would dance with me, even though an impossible wish was a wasted wish.

A few days later, Robbie came to meet me on his own. He sat at ease on his stallion, looking so handsome in his red velvet jerkin and cap that I could not look at him. I frowned down at Carlin, holding tightly to her collar so she did not frisk around Apollo’s hooves.

‘Shall we go for a gallop?’ Robbie asked.

I could not believe the day had come at last. I gazed up at him, my heart beating fast. He held down his hand. I grasped it, and he pulled me up in one swift motion, settling me before him in the saddle, my bare legs hanging down on either side of Apollo’s neck. Robbie had to put his arms around me to hold the reins, and I had to sit very straight to avoid my back touching him. Both of us were hot-cheeked by the time I was settled. We trotted into the meadow, Carlin loping behind, then Robbie shortened the reins and tapped his heels. The world seemed to blur. Apollo’s hooves sounded like thunder, his powerful muscles bunching beneath me.

At last, Robbie reined him in. ‘How did you like your first gallop?’

‘I loved it!’

‘You were not afraid?’

‘Afeart? Me? No’ one bit! Can we gallop again?’ Then my conscience smote me. I smoothed a hand over Apollo’s hot, damp hide. ‘If he’s no’ tired? I’m no’ too heavy for him?’

‘A wee lass like you? Of course not. Let’s give him a rest a while, and then we can gallop again.’ We sat down on the ground, looking out at a shining sheet of water, with the grey misty Highlands beyond. Carlin lay beside us, panting.

‘Are you hungry?’ he asked.

‘As a wolf!’

Robbie had brought oatcakes and cheese and a ceramic jug of small ale for us to share. I had a mouthful first, then he lifted it to his mouth and drank thirstily. It made me feel strange, seeing him put his lips where mine had been. He deftly peeled an apple so the green skin hung in one long spiral. I had never seen anyone do that before. He laughed at my amazement.

‘Rory and I have competitions to see who can get the longest apple peel. It’s the only thing I ever win at! He’s better than me at everything.’

‘That’s the same with me and Sorcha,’ I said, taking the slice of apple he passed to me. ‘She never loses anything, or gets her thread in a tangle. She even wakes up with her hair all neat and smooth, while I always look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.’

‘I like your hair,’ he said, then flushed scarlet and jumped up to feed the core to Apollo. I sat demurely and ate my apple, warm with pleasure.

‘We had best get back,’ Robbie said. ‘I’ll be in trouble if I miss sword practice.’

I fed Apollo the last of my apple, then Robbie lifted me into the saddle and mounted behind me. I was very aware of the strength of his arms, the warmth of his body.

He cleared his throat, shifting in the saddle. ‘Do you want to hold the reins?’ He showed me how to keep my wrists relaxed and my thumbs up, then put his hands over mine and kicked Apollo into motion once more.

As we galloped together along the crest of a hill, Robbie suddenly released his grasp and spread his arms wide, like a soaring eagle. It was my hands that guided Apollo, my voice and my weight which commanded him. Never had I felt such exultation. I laughed back over my shoulder at Robbie.

‘What a girl!’ he cried. ‘The bravest lass I know!’

His words rang through me for weeks.

By the time the leaves were tinged with colour, I finally had my wish and galloped on Vulcan’s back by myself. Robbie rode alongside, just to make sure I was not thrown, and indeed I almost lost my seat a few times, Rory’s horse not being so well-mannered as Apollo. But my months of riding had made me strong, and I relished the act of exerting my will over such a powerful beast.

I was quiet on the way home. There was no reason for Robbie to teach me how to ride anymore. But at the gate into our meadow, he lifted me down to the ground and said huskily, ‘See you tomorrow?’

I smiled up at him in sudden joy. ‘Och aye!’

He grinned and leapt onto Apollo’s back, Vulcan trotting behind on a lead rein. I rushed inside, wanting to sing and dance, and stood with my back against the door, my hands pressed together against my heart.

Sorcha stared at me and said, ‘Why are your cheeks so red, Caiti?’

Soon after, news came our queen had returned to Scotland.

Mary had lived in France since she was five, marrying the dauphin, François, when she was fifteen. When he became king on his father’s death, she had been his queen-consort. Now he was dead, and Mary had come home.