Page 86 of Go Back to December

“Only if you come back with me.”

“I need…a minute. And Luiza wants quality time with her big brother. Just the two of you.”

Baz traces my cheek with a finger, mimicking the way he robbed me of my wish this morning. “I want more quality time with the two of us.”

It takes the better part of my self-control not to pull his sweet mouth over mine and prolong this morning magic. Once we leave here, we’ll have to face more than Luiza. And I’m nowhere near ready.

Behind us, a chunk of ice falls off a tree and splinters onto the footpath.

Easing away, I hand Baz his crutches. “Go on. I’ll be right behind you.”

His side-eye disagrees.

“I won’t stay out here too long. Promise.”

With a wary look, he turns and shuffles down the path. I gulp cold air, but it doesn’t steady my heart like it should.

It only makes me gasp harder.

Chapter Nineteen

Ispend an eternity in the shower, letting Baz’s infinite supply of hot water beat down on my shoulders through the luxurious high-pressure showerhead. I can’t stop reliving the heat of his kiss, the weight of his fingers, the catch of his breath.

It feels like a it was all a dream. I want so desperately for it to be real, but there’s no casual way to find out. We’ve shared too much over the last few days. I’m not sure I could backtrack to the beginner slopes of early dating. Over-analyzing his texts. Wondering if I should keep a night of the weekend free so we can meet up for some form of controlled public foreplay before ending the evening in his big bed.

No, we’re well past that, which puts me far out of my depth. I’ve never had a relationship succeed beyond a third date. And if I get the Lightman, I could never sustain anything long distance while I’m in Paris. With all our past rancor, and all the uncertainty in the future, I’m delusional to think that Baz and I could make this work.

As I step out of the bathroom, Luiza hovers in the corridor. When I crept back into the apartment earlier, she and Baz were talking calmly on the couch, which I’m welcoming as a hopeful sign.

“Baz doesn’t let you use his bathroom?”

“This one’s bigger,” I hedge. “Better lighting.”

She glances at her hands. “I owe you an apology for what I said this morning.”

“I wasn’t offended, but thank you. Does this mean you two have ceased fire?”

“Yeah. We talked.” She sighs. “First time in forever.”

“Good. Don’t let it be the last.”

“That would be easier if I could talk him down as easily as you can.”

“Goes with the territory. I spend a lot of time winding him up.”

Luiza grins, a fiendish mirror to her brother’s smile. “I’m also sorry about those guys and the beer. I wasn’t mad at you.”

“You wanted Baz to be the one to find you. I understand; I’m a little sister too.”

“Is your brother as big a pain in the ass as mine?”

“No one is as big a pain in the ass as yours.”

“And yet, we love him.” She kisses my cheek as she ducks past me into the bathroom.

In the kitchen, Baz is back at the stove, hair damp from his own shower. He’s sautéing a hash of potatoes and mushrooms and herbs, which he doles out onto a plate, alongside two of those divine small sausages. His hazel eye catches mine, and he nods to the spot on the breakfast bar where silverware and a napkin are set out, next to a steaming cup of coffee and milk.

He bends over the counter to deliver my breakfast. As he straightens, his lips lightly brush mine. Like this is any other lazy morning.