Page 56 of Breached

“You don’t look at me the way you looked at Talya,” I shot back, hurt still running thick through my veins.

“Talya was a catch—there’s no denying that,” Paul agreed. “She was a gorgeous, intelligent, but dangerous woman.” He chewed the inside of his cheek as I absorbed how much his words hurt.

“Oh, we could’ve started a club,” I snapped, wanting to hurt him as much as he hurt me.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. “Nicole, I had a rough start to my life, too. When I joined the army, I did everything I could to make sure my father couldn’t find me. Then, after I finally found a real family, people who cared, I gave it all up when Frank convinced me I had to go away to Mexico to help them. So, I left my brothers and my home without even a goodbye for something bigger than myself. I was told it was only going to be for two years, and it lasted a decade. I had to plant roots and make a life for myself as someone I hated—it’s why I used my real first name, which happens to be my bastard father’s name, too, by the way. It fueled my hate and kept my dark side at the surface.” He took a breath and I stayed quiet—he had never shared his feelings this way.

“It was Chili who kept me from completely losing myself. When I met Talya, I didn’t mean to fall for her, but she was different. She was warm, to a degree, and fun, and she let me in. I got to know the real woman she was inside, not the hard, unfeeling person I’d been told she was. It’s just that she didn’t believe in what her parents were doing. I was the one who hid myself from her—I pushed her away a lot because of my secret.” He looked at me, and I saw the pain in his eyes. “Yeah,” he nodded, “you’re not the only one I lied to, Nicole. I’m an expert at it.” His voice was bitter.

“Why are you telling me this?” I whispered.

“Because I want to finally be me!” It came out in a cry. His face was so open, so full of pain I could physically feel it. “I need you to help me, Nicole. I don’t know if I even know who I am anymore. How not to lie.”

I knew I loved him, and I knew I didn’t want to lose him, but I also knew I wasn’t a woman who would just let what happened roll off my back without working through it first.

“I can try.”

“That’s all I ask.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “As for you staying, I don’t like it or agree with it, but Cole sees an angle that I didn’t.”

“Oh?”

“If everyone suddenly leaves town, it’s going to look suspicious. We’ll make a trip to Zack’s together just once and make sure Liza sees us.”

“To ensure Bruno knows I’m still around.”

“Exactly.”

I straightened my shoulders, pleased he wasn’t going to fight me on that. “Good. That’s smart.”

“But there’s something else you should know.”

I sighed, feeling incredibly tired. “I don’t know how much more I can take tonight, Paul.”

He hooked an arm around my waist and drew me closer. “I fiercely protect anything I love, Nicole, so buckle up, sweetheart, because I’m not letting you go.” His gaze penetrated mine as he slowly loosened his hold on me then left.

Once alone, I sagged onto the side of the bed, letting his words sink into my heart. How could one be so in love, yet be so hurt at the same time?

When I woke up the next morning, the house was silent. All the events of the night before hit me at once, and I immediately wondered how everyone was taking the awful news we’d been given. The visit from Paul had left me in turmoil, but a bit more understanding had wiggled its way inside me about how it must be for him. I desperately wanted to find a way through.

I got out of bed and thought of what Cole had said about Paul having to go back to Bruno as Eric again. It must be eating Paul up inside. I decided I had to put some of my own pain aside and let him know I would be there to support him. The fate of Shadows could very well hang in the balance.

Something else popped into my head, and though my heart was still bruised by it all, I felt the need to do something. I pulled my phone off the charger and made a call.

“Hello?” His husky voice was sharp over the line.

“Good morning, General Bruce. It’s Nicole Winter. I was hoping I could steal a few moments of your time.”

“Well, that depends. How important is it?”

I looked out the window and let out a long, uncomfortable sigh. “Very important.”

“Then I’ve got the time.”

I spent the next forty minutes explaining my case, and at the end felt better about my decision.

“I certainly wasn’t expecting this, Miss Winter.” His voice had softened a little. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “I am.”