Page 55 of You Fall First

“Knock, knock,” he says.

“Who’s there?”

“My pendix.”

“All right, buddy.” I shake my head.

Here I’d been thinking the poor kid was exhausted, and that I was way too tired to manage another cranky bedtime by myself. Instead, Dutton seems to have found a second wind and a much better mood. Maybe from the T-Rex. Maybe because Jo’s coming home with us.

Either way, getting him settled down will probably be a two-person job.

Approaching the next light, I check to be sure Jo’s still following. The light turns yellow, and I slow to a stop so we can stay together. She’s got my address, but making sure I don’t leave her behind feels like the right thing to do.

For the rest of the drive, Dutton entertains me with a string of fresh knock-knock jokes. Most of the punchlines involve body parts, with an emphasis on butts. But for a preschooler, he’s got a pretty decent sense of timing.

As I pull into the driveway and ease the car into the garage, he’s already unbuckling his harness. “Hold on,” I say. “Not till we’re parked.” His hands stay on the buckle, impatiently waiting for me to cut the engine. Then he extricates himself from his car seat, throws open the door, and hops out, running to the curb to meet Jo’s car.

Energy to spare.

I can’t help believing things would’ve quickly derailed if Jo hadn’t come home with us. After I give him a quick bath, he runs circles around the house in his Buzz Lightyear underwear like he’s an actual space ranger and pajamas are optional. My solution is to chase him, unsuccessfully, but Jo gathers the pajama bottoms and Bugs and plops onto the couch, sliding the legs of the pajamas onto the rabbit’s ears.

Dutton freezes mid-run.

“No! Not that way!” he crows, delight etched across his face.

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I’m pretty sure this is right.”

“Like this.” He snatches the bottoms and puts them on himself.

Okay, then. This woman is smart.

“We gotta brush teeth next, dude,” I tell him, but Dutton refuses to join me in the bathroom.

So Jo heads in there instead, calling out, “Uh-oh!”

Dutton scampers in to discover that Bugs is about to put toothpaste on his tail.

“Not that way!” he cackles, snatching the toothbrush from her. “Like this!”

Genius.

Finally, when it’s time for bedtime stories, Dutton claims he doesn’t want any books, so Jo lets Rex and Bugs choose what to read.

“Rex wants me to read the back of this cereal box,” she says.

“No!” Dutton dissolves into giggles.

“Bugs thinks this manual for the dishwasher will be very interesting.”

“No, here!”

Dutton takes Jo’s hand and drags her into his bedroom and straight to the small stack of books on his nightstand. “These ones!” he insists, handing over Grumpy Monkey and Who Pooped on Me?

Naturally. Poop never misses.

“I think you’re right,” Jo says. “These are much better choices.” She settles onto the bed and leans against the pillows to gather Bugs, Rex, and their books on her lap. But wouldn’t you know it? Bugs holds the pages of his book upside down.

“Nooooooo!” Dutton howls, climbing onto the bed with a smile. He scoots close to Jo to demonstrate the correct way to hold a book.