Page 161 of You Fall First

“Yep. Awful. Especially the part where your parents are forcing you to live with them forever so you can continue to walk in on them in a state of partial undress after Saturday morning yoga.”

“Eww.”

“I know.”

“My parents don’t want me to stay forever.”

“I know.”

“Right.”

She presses on a smile. “It’s almost like we spent the past hour saying the same things over and over to each other.”

“Because we have.”

“So what’s really stopping you from ripping off the Band-Aid and telling Noah you want to move?”

“I’m scared.”

“Life is scary,” she says. “Love is terrifying. But I broke up with Bucky anyway because I didn't want to be stuck with someone who wasn’t even a fraction of what I dreamed of.”

“Noah is one hundred percent everything I've ever dreamed of.”

“You keep making my point for me.”

I chew my lip, eyes flitting to the baby ducks again, then their mama. A bigger duck—the drake, I think—waddles over to them. A complete family of ducks. I want that so much my insides ache.

“I want to be with him, Mare.”

She smiles. “I’m acutely aware of this, Jo. And also? I have no horse in this race. You and I haven’t lived together since college, and you’re still my bestie forever, so I’m pretty sure we’re the very best example of distance not being the thing that defines a relationship.”

I swallow. “Now you’re making me think Noah and I could still maintain a relationship, even if he goes to Mayville and I stay here.”

Maren shrugs. “If you both committed to that, sure you could.”

“Oh.”

“Does any part of you want to live a thousand miles away from Noah Stadler?”

“Not a single molecule in my body.”

She stares at me, frozen and not saying a word or making any facial expression at all. Very not Maren. Super unsettling. Tears gather in my eyes. “So?”

“I think you have your answer.”

I nod, choking down a lump. “I do.”

“Go tell your man,” she says.

“Okay.” I take a couple of deep breaths, in danger of hyperventilating. “I’m going to call you right after, no matter⁠—”

There’s a soft tap on my shoulder. I spin around.

My phone drops to my lap.

“Noah,” I gasp.

His eyes are the ones I want to see with all the molecules in my body.