Page 156 of You Fall First

After the best four hours of my life, after my happiest, most hopeful day. Before I went to sleep dreaming of the beautiful tomorrows Noah and I could share. I got ahead of myself. Again. That’s the lesson here.

Hope is brutal.

“She wants to talk to you,” Noah says.

“Paige?”

Duh.

I sniffle up the wetness leaking all over my face.

“She wants to explain,” he continues. “The last thing my sister wants is for you to think she doesn’t like this town. That the people and the places aren’t good enough. It’s not that.”

“It’s not home.” My voice hitches, and I glance across the yard at the house where I grew up. I’ve never considered moving farther from here than Asheville, an hour’s drive, more or less. Even in college, I was still only a car ride away. Always accessible. Weekend visits whenever I wanted.

“I understand,” I murmur. “At least you’ll all be together again.”

“I already told you I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Is there really a choice?”

“I worked so hard to make this place feel like home,” he says. “The whole idea was to get established so Paige could come here. I have friends now, a career I love that makes a difference in people’s lives.”

“You can find a job anywhere,” I tell him. The words are true, but they come out trembly. “Friends, too. Everybody loves you, Noah. They’ll love you wherever you go.”

I love you, Noah.

At least I was starting to.

“Jobs are replaceable, sure.” His jaw ticks. “But friends who are like family? That’s harder to come by.”

“Not as hard as actual family. You only get one of those.”

He reaches for my hand, and threads his fingers through mine, gently stroking the knuckles one at a time. “There’s only one you.”

My heart cleaves straight down the middle, two different sides, both of them breaking.

“Please don’t say things like that to me right now.”

“Why not? It’s true.”

“Because you’re leaving.”

“Again, I haven’t decided anything yet.”

“But the choice is inevitable,” I argue, dropping my volume to a raspy hush. “And it’s not like you’re ready to ask me to go with you.”

His eyes come to mine.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he grits out. “I’d ask you to go with me, right now, right here on this bench.”

My mouth opens and shuts wordlessly. Either my ears just started spewing fantasies into my brain, or Noah Stadler just said he wants me to move to Mayville with him.

“If I could,” he adds.

My stomach is an elevator with a snapped cable.

“I get it,” I rush to say. “It’s too much, too soon. There’s no way⁠—”