Page 84 of The Starlight Savior

“Peace.”

Her eyes flew open. “That’s not—”

“The ability doesn’t lie. You may be wrapped up in your sorrow, but I also feel a sense of peace. I see what this may mean to you.”

“And what is that?” Saige leaned into Conor’s warmth.

“The absence of your anger. Your guilt.”

Without thinking, she rested her head on Conor’s shoulder. She suddenly felt so tired, yet so alive. “There isn’t much room for me to feel angry at myself here.”

“Not right now there isn’t.” Conor’s cheek rested on her hair. The muscles on his face moved up as he smiled. “Tell me about Denholm. Or even where you grew up. What was it called?”

“Oswan,” she murmured, “I’ve never spoken about my life there.”

“Tell me then. I want to learn everything about you.”

And so Saige did, baring her soul to Conor in ways she didn’t expect. As she spoke, she realized Conor didn’t truly know her like she expected. He knew of whispers and gossips, her father’s letters, and whatever slipped through his emotion-wielding. But everything she said seemed new to him.

She spoke of her mother’s beef stew. Judith’s hugs. Althea’s warm laugh. She even told Conor about her interest in Hadeon and the way she had distanced herself from his own protection. The jealousy she had felt in the tavern that evening when he had danced with a girl. At that information, she had felt Conor go rigid. But she kept talking. It was as if the floodgates of her mind had been opened, all she had kept to herself flowing out.

Conor spoke of his life too. Growing up with two warriors for parents, the expectations in their home were different. Instead of a village, they lived in a small commune in the mountains alongside Niana’s family. Sebastien was two years younger than him, the same age as Saige, but they trained hard with one another. Any downtime was expected to be dedicated to their education, whether through combat or magic-wielding. When Conor and Sebastien both developed their abilities for storm, their father sent them to the capital. Their time with Eva was the first moment either of them got to slow down. Conor loved it, but Sebastien was restless.

“I often wondered if that’s why Sebastien was seen as more useful. Maybe he was more determined.”

“What about your spirit ability?” Saige asked.

“Well yes, that’s useful. But it’s also a secret. I wasn’t allowed to touch anyone unless absolutely necessary. Who knew what I would learn?”

“Really? Not even a hug?”

Conor shook his head. “I hugged my mother once and saw a flash of wardless war. Gave me nightmares for years about her beheading this water-wielder. They were trying to take a southern village. Murdered a handful of citizens. All I could feel was my mother’s anguish, just pummeling into me.”

“Conor,” Saige breathed, leaning into him.

“Once I began to train my ability as a tool rather than random invasions, I stayed by my father’s side. Sometimes he’d ask me for something specific. Like sifting through emotions, flashes of memories, or words. Just to find exactly what he was looking for.”

“I can see why you didn’t tell me,” Saige spoke honestly. It was in his nature to hide such things, almost like a nonverbal order from his father.

And the things he had known about her? It made sense that he didn’t pummel her with information about Opela and magic. The girl he thought they were obtaining was supposed to be curious. Loving. Naive. Yet when she came to Etrane, he saw her breakdowns. The monster she had crafted herself into being. Heard the stories of her parents’ slaughter.

She probably seemed so fragile. As if she could snap at any moment.

Each day she spent in Etrane, the fog of her brain cleared a bit more. She felt more like just a traumatized girl. Maybe it was because she didn’t see magic as so dangerous anymore. But Gods, she had been hard on herself. And even if all the noise in her head was replaced by the overwhelming feeling of knowledge, she’d rather have that weight than break at the seams.

Chapter 33

Walking into the great hall, Saige enjoyed the buzz of excitement coursing through her body at continuing her elemental tests. But as she descended the stairs, she was surprised to see Conor and Tobin walking in the opposite direction of the training halls. In quite a hurry too.

“Where are we going?” she asked, but Tobin rushed by her with a sweep of his robes.

“I’m sorry, we’ll have to meet tomorrow. Many things to discuss today!”

“But…” Saige sputtered, “what about the elemental tests? You said we had more work to do!”

Tobin’s only response was a wave of his hand. “Enjoy your day off, my dear. Walk through the gardens. Read more of your books.”

She shook her head, quickly falling into step beside them. Conor leaned forward, his gaze softening as he shook his head slowly.