Page 50 of The Starlight Savior

“Because I am lacking,” Saige hissed, her fists balled at her sides. “As one reminds me everyday!”

Tobin cocked his head. “Who has said you’re lacking?”

“I can feel it in the stares, in the way people speak to me. I know nothing of this world, and yet I am expected to live in it. Carve myself a place, even when I may not fit.”

“And how will you do magic if you know nothing of it or its origins?”

“I don’t want to do magic. I want to get rid of it so I don’t have to deal with any of this. The moment the mist is cured, I plan to never touch such a curse. ”

Tobin shook his head. “That is not how it will work. There is no not doing magic. It builds in you until you release it. When you gain control, you can’t ignore it. Or you will be right back to the lacking witch you claim to be.”

“Then I do not want it!” Saige screamed.

Each layer of her exposed skin was glowing, her fists burning with a fiery white light. From the marble, her reflection revealed her face contorted, eyes glowing silver. Her hair flowed in an unexplained wind that blew through the training room. Her anger was so hot, and she could barely feel it at the core of her body. She only felt unforgiving power. Magic she did not want.

Falling to the ground, she let a gut wrenching cry escape her lips. All she could do was surrender to the power, to the outburst pulled forth by her impatience and frustrations.

Finally, her body sang.

When her hair no longer stood in all directions, her eyes returning to the bright blue glow, she looked up. There was no shame or pity on Tobin’s face. Just a caring sense of eagerness, as if he was waiting for this to simply pass.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out.

“No apologies, please. It’s my job to help you through these moments, whether you’re a ten-year-old witchling or a twenty-year-old woman.” Tobin took a step forward, kneeling before her. Another crack had formed in the marble. “I understand not wanting this power. You grew up in a world that rejected it. Because of that, it releases stronger and quicker than a seasoned witch. I promise, it will get easier when you can control it. I hope you may want to use it instead of despising it once it is less painful. Less dangerous.”

“I can’t imagine a world where I’d want this.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“I don’t even understand it,” Saige said, face crumbling into her hands.

“That’s why you’re here. This is something you should have been guided through as a youth, but I don’t blame your father for not stepping into that role. There would have been no safe way for you to explore this in Brevil. Unless you lived far enough from other people where they wouldn’t notice storms forming, fires starting, or water freezing. The power that flows through your veins comes from one of these deities.” Tobin pointed to the windows and the mural above them. “It may seem tiresome to explore their powers, their land, and the people they created, but it will help you understand them better so you may find them in yourself.”

Pulling her hands from her face, she looked upon the mural above. They all stared down at her, different and alike in many ways. Where would she fit in with such carefully crafted deities?

Terrus’s brown beard was long, framed with sun-kissed, brawny shoulders.

Mara’s mischievous sapphire eyes followed Saige’s movement, golden hair wrapped around her body.

Tonirus’s looks reminded her of his people, black hair and bright white gaze.

Flames danced upon Ignesa’s dark skin.

Silva, a kin of Terrus, sported a bear’s head over his body.

Caelum was almost as bright as the sun, golden skin and bronze eyes.

And then there was the Mother Goddess. Sydera’s long hair was the color of the moon. Starlight spilled from her hands, floating across the dome ceiling.

“You don’t need to know now,” Tobin said, reading the discontent on her face, “but the time will come where it will all make sense for you.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Tobin ended the training session immediately after, her mind and body drained of all comprehension. Another moment of losing control. But this time was different. Stronger than she could have ever imagined. Everything she held back was tearing at the seams, flooding through at an alarming rate she couldn’t seem to stop. As the maester spoke to her, correcting her and leading her to answers she didn’t want, she had felt this unimaginable rage. The most raw of her emotions were revealed.

She was tired. She didn’t want any of this.

But she had no choice but to live with this magic. Could she finally accept where she was and let go of all she carried?