Page 13 of The Starlight Savior

Judith was right about one thing. It wasn’t a life Saige wanted to live.

Once she was finished speaking, Althea was quiet. Her fingers tugged at the sleeves of her dress. “Maybe you should marry,” she said meekly.

Saige shook her head. She reached over to the table, grabbing Althea’s mug and finishing the ale. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not? If you wed, you wouldn’t really have to worry about all of this. Judith would stop nagging.”

“Well why don’t you get married too?” Saige pushed, ignoring the heat rising in her chest.

“Because I have a job!” Althea scoffed with a wave. “I have my own passions to take care of. I can’t handle courting someone right now.”

“You don’t think I have my own passions?” Saige’s stomach knotted. It was like speaking to Judith all over again. She knew they meant no harm in suggesting marriage, but the weight of worrying about another being would crush her. Much of Saige’s focus was on safety. It was all she cared about. But in the context of passions and purpose, what did that mean exactly?

Althea cocked her head. “You know I love you,” she began, “but no. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you passionate about anything.”

Saige reached for Baron’s cup now, swallowing it without an apology.

“Ah, don’t take that to heart. You know how I get when I drink. But it’s true. If you asked me to plan out your life for the next handful of years, I wouldn’t know where to start. You gotta find that drive, Saige.” Althea shrugged. “And maybe having a companion can help with that.”

“I don’t need anyone,” Saige said sharply.

Althea lowered her head. Her brown eyes softened as she spoke, her voice quiet. “But aren’t you lonely?”

Saige flinched. Loneliness was all she seemed to think about nowadays. She woke each morning in solitude. She worked a job in an empty home. And each day, the memory of her parents haunted her. In the sunrise beyond the mountains. In the smell of fire and soot. In the taste of the homegrown supper Judith fixed up on especially quiet days.

“No,” she lied, “I have everything I need.”

Althea’s smile was small, a sadness in her eyes that made Saige fidget. Her friend saw right through every word, peering into the depths of her fears and dreams.“I won’t be able to bear the thought of you being alone here when I move to Yethor.”

“When will you leave?” Saige hoped to change the subject away from her failed dreams.

“Probably before winter. I need something bigger. Better. And didn’t you hear the boys? Yethor is increasing forces. They’ll need all the help they can get.” Althea took Saige’s hand. “What about Hadeon?”

Saige groaned with the attention right back on her. “What about him?”

“You’re smarter than that.” Althea snorted. “Don’t act like I don’t see the way you two look at each other.”

Saige peered at the crowd. Drunken bodies swayed alongside one another. Baron held a petite woman in his arms, keeping her head close to his chest. Hadeon was not dancing though. He stood off to the side, murmuring into the ear of another soldier, gaze pinned on her.

“You know I can’t.”

“I’ve never understood why though. All because you’re against the idea of marriage? Don’t be so progressive.”

Saige shrugged, but she couldn’t tear her gaze away. Too many things could go wrong with having a family. What if her own kin had magic? How could she train them when she couldn’t train herself? She could deny her partner of children, but she couldn’t do that to Hadeon. A soldier expected to move up in ranks needed heirs.

And with the way he spoke of magic-wielders…

“We’re two very different people,” Saige landed on saying.

Althea ripped her hand from Saige’s, slamming her palm down on the table. A damp sweat lingered above her lips. She was more intoxicated than Saige had ever seen her, along with half the people in the tavern.

“You know what I never understood about you?”

“What?” Saige asked through gritted teeth. She was beginning to tire of her companion’s observations about her.

“I’ve known you for what, nine years? And I barely know a lick about you. And yet you know everything about me, my mother’s death, my father’s drinking, Baron leaving. The things that make me tick. Yet when I see you, it’s…an empty canvas with a simple outline. Nothing to truly hold onto.”

Saige tried not to flinch. Althea didn’t normally act this way. But alcohol often brought out the truth in others, no matter how harsh it was.