Page 49 of The Golden Receiver

We started talking about the game, about plays we thought we could have done better or things we wished we could have changed about the game. Other than the outcome, obviously, because I felt that it went without saying. We both liked to win, so we didn’t need to say that we wished we’d won the game. The longer we talked, the more relaxed he became.

We stopped at a truck stop halfway back to Creelin, long enough for people to use the restroom and grab snacks. I bought some fruit candy, and when I got back to our seat, Kieran was already there. Sitting next to the window. The grin he gave me when I sat down next to him could only be described as cheeky, and a strange warmth bloomed inside me when I saw it. I didn’t know he was even capable of smiling like that.

“That’s my seat,” I teased, even though I had no desire to take it from him. Not if him stealing it made him grin the way he had.

“Haven’t you ever heard the old saying: move your feet, lose your seat?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Guess I won’t be scaring other drivers by sticking my head out the window then.”

“Guess not.”

The last of our teammates got back onto the bus and the lights went out. The bus pulled out of the truck stop, and we hit the highway again. Kieran and I sat quietly. I ate my candy, and Kieran looked out the window. I didn’t know how much time had passed before I felt the weight of his head falling onto my shoulder. I looked down, just to see what was going on, and I noticed his eyes were closed. His breathing was slow and steady.

He was asleep.

I took advantage of the moment to study him. He looked younger, more relaxed. When he was awake, he somehow managed to look older than he was. Maybe it was all the stress he put on himself or something, but when he was asleep? It all fell away. I wanted to keep looking at him. I wanted to memorize every detail of his face when he slept, because who knew if I’d ever see it again. I’d never expected to see it in the first place, honestly. We might have hooked up a few times, but I didn’t think he’d ever relax enough to sleep next to me, let alone on me.

Then he stirred.

It was like he could feel me watching him. I didn’t want him to wake up. He’d probably freak out about the fact that he had fallen asleep on my shoulder, and then he’d move. He’d pull away. I forced myself to look away from him. I closed my eyes to resist temptation. The moment my eyes were closed, tendrils of conversations started to fill my ears.

Marlon and his seat partner were talking about their shared math class.

Someone two rows away was snoring, and the guy he shared a seat with was listening to music with a lot of screaming. Probably to drown out the snoring.

I could even hear Reyes and Willis whispering at the back of the bus. “Would’ve won if they played you,” Reyes muttered.

“That corner should’ve hit him harder last week,” Willis agreed. There was something nasty to his tone. Chills raced down my spine. “Maybe we should do something about it.”

“Like what?”

“Leave it with me.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, and I kept listening. I kept listening as they pulled Dobson and Hopkins into their conversation. Most of it was bitching and moaning about how much Willis felt like he deserved the starter job, the one that Kieran won in fair competition. He could have put in more effort, the way Kieran had. He could have done anything to improve himself, but instead he was bitching and moaning.

Maybe I shouldn’t have kept listening, but I did. All the way until we pulled back into Creelin University, long after they stopped bitching and started talking about boring things like classes and the party they’d gone to the night before.

The next two weeks passed in a blur.

Kieran and I fell into a comfortable routine. We met every morning for our runs and then walked to weight training together. We separated after training, but we found each other between classes. I still didn’t sit next to him during our one shared class. He said I talked too much and distracted him. I didn’t see it, and I thought he took that class way too seriously, but I knew a losing battle when I saw one. I was just glad he waited for me outside the classroom. Then we went to lunch together, before we went to our other classes.

We sat together during film review, and we always ended up lining up together during drills. After practice, we sometimes went our separate ways, but more and more often, I ended up tagging along with him to the library and watching him study. I tried to study. I really did. I brought my books and had them open on the table, but the library was just too quiet for me to study. I needed noise and conversation in order to focus. I blamed growing up with the pack.

Not that it was the pack’s fault.

Even when I was surrounded by people, I still couldn’t study very well. I just didn’t like it. It was boring.

During the two weeks, we also had two other games. We won the first one, but we lost the second one. It was our first loss at home, and I think it sucked worse than losing on the road. It had probably sucked just as bad last year, but I hadn’t been a starter then. I’d only been on the field for a few plays here and there, when the offense needed a rest or an extra man for a play.

The only good part about losing at home was that I was able to distract Kieran a lot more effectively than I could on the bus.

The problem with spending all this time with him was that when I wasn’t with Kieran, I wanted to be with him. I couldn’t focus in my classes because I was thinking about him. I couldn’t pay attention when I went to visit Kali and Luke, because my mind was across town at the dorm. When he wasn’t in my sight, I kept thinking back to that whispered conversation on the bus.

Not that it was better when I was with him.

When he was across the field at practice, it took every ounce of my self-control not to watch him. Especially when other members of the team were nearby. I kept worrying that something would happen, and I’d be too far away to stop it.

Nothing happened, though.