Page 116 of Falling for Her

“Okay, so you took the test and . . . ?”

“I don’t know.” I tell him. “I read the instructions and then came downstairs.”

He lets go of my hand, and I’m expecting him to get up and look at the test, but instead, he reaches over and pulls me into his lap. I put my head on his shoulder as his arm wraps around me tightly. “Were you crying because you don’t want to be pregnant?” he asks softly.

“I don’t know. I think I was actually scared more than anything else.”

“Why are you scared?” His voice is calm as I push up from his shoulder and look at him.

“I didn’t exactly have the best mother for a role model growing up. Like what if I fuck this up?” My voice comes out in a little shriek at the end.

“Baby,” he smiles, “look at how good you are with Asa.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s not really fair. When I met him, he was already amazing. I didn’t really have anything to do with him.”

“Finley,” he says, waiting for me to meet his eyes, “you are kind, gentle, loving, and so much more. You will be the best mother that I have ever seen, and you want to know why?”

“No!” I say, making him laugh.

“Just having this conversation means that you are going to be the best mother you can be. You aren’t selfish and only thinking of yourself. The first thing you thought about was the baby and how you would be with him or her.”

“Technically, I was thinking about myself.” I turn in his lap. “I don’t know if I can do this. I barely know how to feed myself. I just got laundry figured out, and I’m not even going to tell you how many shirts I gave away and replaced.”

He chuckles. “No one is ready for a child. I wasn’t. It’s a learning experience, and I have no doubt that you are going to love and care for our child with everything you have.”

“No nannies.” I don’t even know what I’m saying until the words come out of my mouth.

“What?” His tone is equally surprised.

“I don’t want nannies. I want to do it myself.”

He smiles big. “No nannies.”

“Yeah,” I tilt my head to the side, “look at what happened the last time you hired a nanny. She’s now maybe carrying your child.”

“When do you want to find out for sure?”

I inhale deeply. “I guess now would be a good time.”

He wraps one arm around my waist and leans forward to pick up the test.

“Wait,” I say. “Should we count to three and then turn it over? Or should you look and then tell me? Or should I look and then tell you?”

“I’m going to give you a second to decide what you want to do, and then we’ll do it.” He sits back on the couch.

“Okay, we should find out together.” I look down at his hand.

“You sure?”

“Just turn it over.”

He does, and we look down at it. My eyes go to his. “What does that mean? What does two lines mean?”

“I think it means it’s positive.” A huge smile is filling his face. “Two lines are usually positive.”

“How sure are you? How many pregnancy tests have you taken?” I’m literally holding my breath, not sure what to do. I jump up off his lap and run up the steps to the bathroom to get the instructions.

My eyes scan the picture, and I see it. One line means negative, two lines means positive. The sob rips out of me, and when I look up, I see him in the mirror behind me. I spin around.

“It’s positive,” I tell him, and the smile now fills my face so big that my cheeks hurt. “I’m pregnant.” I move one hand to my stomach.

“Are you happy?”

I think of the question for a millisecond. “Ridiculously.” Now the laughter rips out of me in place of the sobbing. Actually, the sobbing and laughter both come together, and I bend over, cradling my stomach. “I’m going to be a mom,” I tell him, and he just nods his head. “We’re going to have a baby.”

He gets down on his knees in front of me, his hands holding my hips. “You are so loved,” he tells my stomach as I run my hand through his hair. “You are both so loved.”