Page 1 of A Flawed Scotsman

Chapter One

The bright sun and clear sky did little to cheer Ruari Ross that morning as he collected items that he’d take on the short trip. Facing the past was something most could do without much thought. In his case, however, it meant revisiting the reason for losing his family.

He trudged from his rooms beside the stables to the main house to break his fast, admittedly prolonging each moment before his departure.

Once inside the great room, the joviality of the people inside grated at him and he sat at a back table hoping to eat without being bothered.

A maid hurried to him, placing a platter of food before him, her body much too close, pressing against his side as she leaned forward. “I will fetch ye some ale.”

He thanked her and began to eat. The sooner the trip was over and done with, the faster he could get to the routine of his day. His life was monotonous, not much different from one day to the next since the battle of clans had ceased. To Ruari, it was fine. He preferred predictable.

For someone like him, a path clear of obstacles meant he could keep away from too many complications. One day, he’d marry a woman from the clan, perhaps build a home and start a family. It would be on his terms, with a woman that was loyal and devoted.

However, if fate decided he should remain alone, the idea did not bother him in the least.

*

“I do not want yer charity.” Ruari’s mother peered down at the sacks of food and grain he’d brought. “We are well enough to provide for ourselves.” She picked up a small sack of coins he’d placed on top of the sacks and weighed it in her palm.

The house was unkempt, the rushes old and smelly. It was the home he’d never been welcome to or had ever lived in. After his father disappeared, his mother had insisted on moving away from Ross Keep. The late laird had gifted the home to her and Ruari.

However, she’d refused to take him and snuck away without a word, leaving him behind to be raised by his uncle and aunt.

Ruari did his best not to allow bitterness to take hold in his heart as he met her cold gaze. Did she really not care for him one bit?

“Where is yer husband?”

She looked away, past him to the doorway. An obvious invitation to leave. “He is gone hunting.”

“That is what ye said last time I was here.”

Her lips curled into a snarl. “What do ye want? To gloat? Coming here pretending to care for me when it is all a show for them.” She motioned outside. “Do not come here again. I prefer not to see ye ever.”

The fact his mother did not love him was not new. For years, he’d tried to gain something from her, at least a small amount of affection, but had failed. Now, he did his duty to see about her and ensure she had food and coin.

“Ye should leave,” she said in a tired voice. “I do not need the constant reminder of the man who abandoned me.”

His mother claimed that because she’d become pregnant and given birth to Ruari, his father had left them. He’d yet to make up his mind about it. At first, when he was a young lad, he’d believed her, felt guilty. Now, as a man and studying her, he wondered why his father had married her in the first place.

Despite the fact that his uncle had insisted that it had nothing to do with him and was, in fact, a problem between his parents, he never would really know the truth. Over the years, he’d overheard mumblings. Elders who whispered that she’d, in fact, killed his father. After all, Conor Ross vanished suddenly and had never been seen or heard from again.

There were so many unanswered questions, but Ruari had stopped bringing up the subject long ago. His mother would fly into a rage, accusing him of spreading rumors about her when, in fact, she was the victim of the cruelty of life.

Now, her second husband was gone. He, too, had not been seen in an entire season.

“Ensure to send word if ye need anything.” Ruari met his mother’s gaze for a long moment. “Take care.”

She looked away, effectively dismissing him.

Riding back to Dun Airgid, Ross Keep, where he’d lived since childhood, Ruari did his best to keep from allowing the encounter with his mother to affect him. And yet a lump formed in his throat that made it hard to swallow and his eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

It would be better to send someone else in the future and not subject himself to his mother’s hatred. But perhaps it was his penance if he was truly the cause of his family’s demise. Whether innocent or not, if he’d not been born, perhaps his parents would have remained together.

When Dun Airgid came into view, Ruari pulled his horse to a stop and dismounted. He walked slowly, pulling his steed along. “Sometimes I envy ye,” he told the horse. “Ye do not have to wonder what yer birth caused.”

Feeling foolish, he wiped the sleeve of his tunic across his face. He was a grown man. Taller and more muscular than most. And here he was sulking like a child over how his mother treated him.

*