Page 87 of The Consolation Prize

“I’m glad,” he answered huskily. “But that does not excuse the things I said to you.”

“Well,” she said. “I know you are very sensitive with regrets about our wedding night and—”

“I only regret that I was blind drunk,” he corrected her swiftly.

“Yes, but I wish you would believe me when I seek to assure you on that score.” She took a deep breath. “And in any case, I accepted your apology about last night. We have no need to discuss it further.”

“I will never say anything like that again,” he said, taking her hand from his chest and kissing her palm. “And I vow if you ever fly into a jealous rage, I will be just as understanding.”

Una saw the smile trembling on his lips with relief. She loved his smile and it felt like she had not seen it in an age. “I have never been prone to jealous rages before,” she admitted. “But there is a first for everything. I was once informed you have a sadly roving eye, but I have yet to see evidence of the fact.”

“By whom?” he asked with a swift frown. “That was before. You have no need to worry on that score.”

She smiled. “Good, but I will never tell.”

“Bess from The Stone Crow,” he snorted. “Much she would know. In any case, my eye only dwells in one place these days.”

“That’s nice to hear.”

His brows snapped together. “It was Anne, wasn’t it? I knew she would be revenged after I forgot her blessed children’s names.”

“I hope you will not be so remiss with our own children,” Una commented. For some reason, all playfulness seemed to desert him at her teasing words. Una suppressed a sigh as he drew back from her.

“I can understand why you might worry about that,” he started, looking so serious Una could have cried. “But I swear that I mean to take my duties seriously from here on out. To do that, I think you need to face some hard truths about me.” He swallowed and sat up in the bed, putting some distance between them as he turned to face her straight on.

“It’s like this, Una,” he started resolutely in the manner of one making some grand confession. “I’m not any of the things you think me. I’ve never tried to be decent or honorable or considerate of my family. I’m selfish. I’m a cheat. I’m a liar. My family is quite right about me. I’m the black sheep and I’ve always reveled in the fact.”

She opened her mouth, but he held up his hand. “No, allow me to say it. You’re too good for me Una. Far, far too good. If this were a just world, I would never have won your hand that day by faking a loss to Farleigh,” he spoke the name with disgust. “For god’s sake, if I had even one spark of decency, I would return you now to Wymer’s court and demand a better bridegroom for you. The bridegroom you deserve.”

“Armand—”

“But that’s not going to happen, Una. Do you know why?” His chest heaved. “It’s because I don’t give a damn about what’s right or decent or what I deserve. Or even,” he added with some difficulty, “what you deserve, my sweet. My father’s quite right on that score. I’m a selfish bastard through and through. I want you, and I’m going to have you.” He glared at her resolutely. “Forever,” he added through gritted teeth. Una nodded. “If you’ve got something to say on the subject, you had best say it now. I don’t measure up, but I vow that I will one day and until that day you will just have to bear with me.”

“That is all satisfactory to me,” Una said calmly. “As I do not want anyone else but you.”

He expelled an explosive breath, crossing his arms. “That’s because you don’t know any better,” he said tersely.

“That is only your matter of opinion.”

He flung her the look of an extremely goaded man. “One of these days wife, the scales are going to fall from your eyes regarding me and you’re going to be devastated.”

Una took a deep breath. “Oh, I don’t think so,” she said bracingly.

“I know you don’t,” he said broodingly. “That’s because you’re naive as hell.”

“I’m not really, you know,” she said gently. “Not in things that count.” He shook his head and muttered something under his breath. There was nothing else for it, she thought looking at his grim expression. She was going to have to be brutally honest.

“I already know you’re a cheat, Armand,” she said, frankly. He looked up, staring at her. “If someone hadn’t told me, I think I would have deduced it myself eventually. I like to think I would have anyway.” She paused. “At some point I suppose you realized you could make more money by playing the odds and faking losses at crucial moments,” she mused. “And Fulcher I take it, was your confederate in the ruse.” He was sat very still, and she watched his throat work as he struggled for words. “No doubt it’s very shocking, but I find I can’t bring myself to care about it as I should,” she admitted.

“Una,” he said huskily. “You don’t appreciate—”

“No, I do,” she cut across him coolly. “I do realize that acting in such a way is most dishonorable for a knight. I also appreciate that it would not even cross the minds of a Lord Kentigern or a Roland Vawdrey to do such a thing as throw a match.”

“They’d sooner die than dishonor the field like that,” he said hoarsely.

“I doubt that very much, Armand,” she said practically. “Let’s not be too fulsome in speech.” He looked up quickly at that, but she plunged on regardless. “I daresay you have been a vastly undutiful son in your time, an inconsiderate brother, and a thoughtless uncle, but I don’t find that concerns me unduly either. Because at the end of the day, you are an exceptionally good husband to me, whatever you may think.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she hurried on. “As for being selfish, I daresay you are no more selfish than most men who like things their own way. You are certainly not the monster of selfishness my own father was, that much I do know.” She took a deep breath. “You did not want to win my hand, but once you had done so, you were unfailingly kind—”