Page 78 of The Ninth

“Let me get you some ice...”

I sat down, grateful to have one levelheaded person to speak to.

“Everyone always coddles Cassandra! You know she was dead wrong at the dock!”

“She was, Devyn, and I planned to tell her. We always tell her. We are always honest with each other, but because we love and respect each other, we wait until the right moment.”

“How was that the wrong moment?!”

“First of all, slow yo roll. If it was literally anyone else, we would’ve beat the fuck outta you. I like you, Cassie loves you, and Tati sees that. That’s why you’re able to sit here and continue to pop them gums. You need to slow down, Devyn. This ain’t what you think it is.”

My face dropped as she continued, “For you to know so much about your aunt and uncle, you don’t even realize tomorrow is the day they died? That Cassie lost her entire immediate family and grieves them yearly? Of course I was going to get that hoe together. But she didn’t need it tonight or even tomorrow! She gave her visitation to K3’s mother. She stopped seeing Juan. She just had a gun pulled out on her. Then you turn around and say that shit to her about her parents? I can’t feel sorry for you because I told you early on you have no idea who Cassandra is and need to speak to her. You decided to keep that snooty ass image of her you and your peoples conjured up. Now you have to sit in that.”

She gave me the baggie full of ice, wrapped in a kitchen towel. I didn’t want her to walk away from me. I didn’t want all of them to sit behind a door while I was on the other side. After building a genuine relationship with them, I was back isolated. Images of my friends and ex standing around me as they yelled into my face at UofL flashed before my eyes. Maybe I am the problem.

The stool slid back loudly in the now silent apartment. I grabbed the icepack, dragging myself back into my room where I should’ve remained. Where I should’ve gotten dressed and left for Duke. Instead, I laid in the dark, watching him call me over and over again.

Chapter 16: Kept Promises

Cassie’s POV

Air from my nose blew the string on my robe softly as I sat on the bathroom floor. I could hear the murmurs from the girls outside of the room. I left all of my phones out there and know at some point, K3 will be calling for me. My feelings are just so fucking hurt.

I tried to get up and have a regular day. I cleaned my room, took my hair down and showered, put on my favorite smell goods and lotions, skincare. Nothing was aiding my broken heart. So now I’m just sitting here in a robe with my hair slicked back. Wishing I could be anywhere else.

That shit with Devyn hurt a bitch. Like G, it’s the last thing I needed or expected. I don’t expect the world to stop because my parents died. But they were her blood too. I’m her blood, and her bogus ass should be in here with me, hugging and loving me! This was our time to come back together and turn a new leaf for ourselves, our kids, our husbands. I’m going to have to do it alone, just like my mother.

There were soft knocks on the connecting door between my bathroom and the guest bathroom. They were met with no response. Continuous knocks and pulling on the handle didn’t move me enough to stand and see what they wanted. Eventually I heard someone slide down the door, sitting on the floor like I am.

“Cassie,” Tati said. “You know you’re my blood sister. I’ma love you always and I hurt along with you. I just wanted to let you know yo crazy ass nigga is looking for you. I’m going to slide the phone under the door so he doesn’t break out.”

She worked my phone under the door as much as she could. I still didn’t move or react. I just listened to Kenzo’s background noise as we both sat in silence.

K3: Crybaby. Pick up the phone, my heart.

I’ve gone at least two hours of not crying. But for some reason, hearing his voice brought tears to my eyes. I picked up the phone slowly. The moment I looked at him on the screen, I burst into tears, falling over onto the floor.

My peoples been dead, G. They’ve been gone. This shouldn’t still hurt me the way it do but it does. I feel like a piece of my fucking heart is just gone. No one’s world will ever revolve around me the way theirs did. Their love was suffocating and kind. I’m never getting that back.

My mind drifted back to me being in that house in the dark. Power off, trees down in the yard, phone about to die. I couldn’t get ahold of my parents or Aunt Kelisha. The storm was vicious and lasted for over an hour straight. The tornado siren singing loudly for two hours. Feeling like the roof was going to tear off the house and I was home alone. I heard that knob turn and fell to my knees, thanking God my parents made it home. When I ran up front and it was Aunt Kelisha using her spare....seeing the tears on Tatianna’s face...I’ll never recover from that.

Just the memory alone tore open new wounds. I cried harder. Screamed harder. Grip the phone harder. I want my man here with me, but just his presence on the phone was enough. Enough for me to release everything, seeking comfort of one of the very few people left that loves me unconditionally.

He was patient. He never told me to stop or to take deep breaths. He just sat there, rubbing his beard multiple times. Something he does when he’s emotional.

Over a good amount of time, I slowly calmed down. I cried all the tears I could cry. My voice was hoarse. Head hurting. Eyes swollen. I dried my face with my robe sleeve and looked at him apologetically.

K3: Take your time, beautiful.

His eyes were glossy and red although a tear didn’t fall. It made me immediately try to gather myself. I couldn’t put my weight onto him.

K3: I mean it, Cassandra. You’re not adding any stress to me or my time in here. I feel the way I do because I love you. It breaks me to see you so hurt, but I know when you smile again I’ll come back together.

Me: I’m okay...

I managed to get out.

K3: Talk to me.