Page 205 of The Ninth

Mama: Devyn, you don’t have to worry about that! Your father told me all about you tattooing and having your name on the door. Says you met a decent young man. Can you send me pictures of you two?!

I chuckled.

My chest tightened with emotions realizing my father didn’t tell her the truth. I didn’t know if it was for me, him, or my mother.

Me: Yes, I will send pictures. How’s um, Grandmother?

Mama: She’s as okay as she can be. I was frazzled for a bit but I’ve just came to accept it. Everyone’s time comes someday. I would just like to see you and Cassandra soon. Would like you both to see her before it’s all gone away.

Me: Of course.

I agreed quickly.

Me: Of course we will.

We sat on the phone in silence. It wasn’t awkward, just sad. My mother was the closest woman relationship I had for majority of my life. She just needed someone that wasn’t my grandmother to talk to. To spend time with. I have to visit.

I placed my hand below my belly button while staring in the mirror. Maybe telling her about the baby could be the turning point. Give her hope for the future instead of dreading what’s to come. Bring her closer to me.

I knew it was all a dream. There was no way I could drop that kind of bomb on this call. I haven’t even told Duke. Instead, I asked the question I’ve been dying to know.

Me: Remember when we went to get my IUD?

Mama: Ugh! How could I forget. You were in so much pain, Devy. I thought it was better the IUD than an actual birth!

She started cracking up laughing which was relieving.

Me: I was under the impression the Skyla was eight to twelve years.

Mama: It isn’t. That’s the shortest one I believe. I had that for a few years before I had you.

Me: Well I guess I should get it taken out then? It’s been four years.

Mama: We were going to do the Skyla, but we did the Paragard, remember? That’s twelve years. Why, are you getting it taken out?!

Me: Wait, I don’t remember that? You’re saying my birth control is still good?

Mama: At least for another eight years. I, uh....still have your patient portal on my phone. I can check.

Me: Yeah, do that.

I rolled my eyes at her still having access to my information. Old Devyn before Chicago would’ve seen nothing wrong with that. Now? It just felt like a big ass red flag. Invasion of privacy.

Mama: I just sent you a PDF. It’s definitely Paragard.

My heart fell out of my ass and onto the floor.

Me: Can I call you tomorrow? I have an early morning.

Mama: Of course. Well! So glad to hear from you. I love you and be careful!

Me: I love you too. Kiss Dad and Grandmother for me.

Mama: Bye!

She hung up as the room started to tilt from side to side. Every single time the thought of me not being pregnant came up, I fought it down. Instead, I sat on the toilet, using it to distract myself. To get myself together before I left the bathroom.

I’ve seen plenty of videos with babies coming out, holding the IUD. That has to be the case, right? The food aversions, emotions, throwing up. I’ve completely accepted and convinced myself I am carrying Duke’s child. Deep inside, I started feeling excited about the baby. Thinking of names and ways to tell him. Accepting us moving in together and sharing an entirely new love for the other. There’s no way one phone call with my mother has shut that down for me. I had all the symptoms!