Page 19 of The Ninth

After letting my thoughts ramble, I took the sunglasses from my head, placing them on my face. I carried an oversized hobo bag I thrifted that had my life including sketchbook inside. My body was in an oversized romper that was airy and breathable, perfect for my walk. The entire back was out and showed I had no bra on, just my underwear. I loved freeing the nips from time to time but my mother and grandmother always nagged about it. I finally took off walking in my sandals.

The breeze and bustle of the city was enough to help cool my mind. Every single thought I had was just another flaw of Cassie’s. I shoved them down, shaking my head softly.

Someone rode past on a bike as I made my way to breakfast. We both flashed a friendly smile which pulled me out of my woes. I looked around and sighed. Damn this city is fucking gorgeous. The most gorgeous I’ve ever been to. But is everything else worth it?

“Hey, girl!” a beautiful Black woman smiled.

I waved back, “Hi!”

After walking a couple of more feet, a Black man in a suit paused his convo, “You’re beautiful.” I laughed, continuing my stroll.

“AYE, CHECK IT OUT!” another yelled from across the street. I didn’t even pretend to give a damn about what the hell he wanted me to check out.

Finally, I made my way inside of 676 Restaurant & Bar. I was greeted and sat immediately towards the back. Eager to get to the tattoo shop down the way, I went ahead and placed my order as I got my sketchbook out.

“Can I just have the 676 Omelet, a latte sub oat, and some water.”

“Of course, pretty!” the waiter smiled as he walked away.

I picked my curls up off my neck and let out a deep breath. My hand opened the book as my face and heart smiled at my first ever drawing, The one that made me think I could make it.

It was of two dragonflies, connected together and falling from the sky. I drew every single intricate detail of the insects. You could see the wind left behind from their entanglement. My grandmother thought the drawing didn’t make sense. I always believed it was gorgeous.

I believed that about a lot of my drawings. And most of my tattoos as well. I did some practice tats on my friends in Louisville before the big fall out. My dad and mother even allowed me to tat their anniversary on their arms. Both absolutely loved it. For some reason, it was hard for me to feel like I deserved to be in certain spaces. My mind always found itself thinking there’s someone else who deserved it more.

“Here you go!” I jumped as he interrupted my melodramatic thoughts. Everything I ordered was placed in front of me. I went ahead and paid so I wouldn’t be bothered the rest of my time. It took everything in me not to ball up, realizing I was paying in all tens that had glitter on some of them. Even though I only shadowed, I walked away with six hundred last night.

My fork cut through the soft omelet right before I stuffed my mouth. Mm. I swallowed down both the water and latte before continuing through my sketches. Halfway through my meal, my phone rung in my bag.

If it’s Cassandra, I’m not answering...

Better, it was my mother. I answered quickly, smashing the phone against my face.

Me: Mama!

I yelled out too desperately.

Mama: Uh, hi! Are you okay?

She laughed.

Me: Yeah, I just miss you guys already. This city is bigger than I thought.

Mama: Tell me about it. We miss you too. Seems like the house grew two sizes.

We sat in silence.

Mama: Are you out?

Me: Yeah! I took a walk and am eating a late breakfast or brunch.

Mama: That sounds good! Alone?

Me: Yeah, but purposely.

Mama: Gotcha.

Silence again.