Page 99 of The Ninth

K3: Who is that?!

Me: Devyn!

K3: G, WHO?! WHO, G?! WHO THE FUCK IS DEVYN? THE PILGRIM?!

Me: YEAH, BYE!

I buried my face deeply into my hands as I tried to stop laughing in hers. She chuckled, walking to my side and sitting everything down.

“I just wanted to return the favor after last night...and I was hoping we could talk. Do you not talk to K3 about me?”

“Of course I do and very, very often. He’s just fucking looney. You’ll have to excuse him. Thank you and yeah. Let’s talk.”

Fuck it.

I was going to go to the kitchen but she hopped her thick ass right onto my bed. A bitch like me is never above eating in bed, so I just cracked the breakfast open. Or brunch. It was the afternoon at this point.

At first we silently ate as K4 snored. After some time, she pushed her food away and leaned back against the bed. Once she started recalling every single thing surrounding Pink and Kenan, I lost my appetite. My feelings were hurt. I felt personally disrespected.

“Why are you crying?” she asked me.

“You’re my cousin, goofy. I love you and this shit hurts my heart. They preyed on you and I wasn’t there to steer you the right way over some dumb ass beef. Devyn, how do you feel?”

“I just feel dumb. Out of control. I can’t believe I let myself drown like that. About that specific situation...I’m just happy to be here with you. To not have it go as far as it could’ve. The entire thing felt...evil. Sinister. I’ve spent weeks feeling bad for myself. That’s over with, even though I’m hurting inside.”

“Did you tell your man?”

“No... He’s crazy.”

I cackled, “Well, what are we going to do? I know you don’t think that shits finna slide?!”

“Maybe I will tell him once he’s back from vacation or out of town. We have some personal things to talk through and then I’ll come clean.”

“I can always tell Kenzo or Man-Man.”

She laughed, “Please, they’re not going to show their ass behind me!”

My head jerked back, “Why not? They know who you are. They know I love and care for you. If anybody betrays you, they’re betraying me. And Kenzo nor his brother is letting that happen.”

“Oh! Well, I’d rather leave it to my man. He’d be pissed if I didn’t tell him directly before someone else.”

“I understand. If it worsens, I’ma have to do what I have to about Kenan. Pink however already got her pink slip.... But....why is it so shocking that I care and love for you?”

I grabbed both of our food containers, sitting them on the dresser. The bed shifted as we both got more comfortable. My eyes were glued to her as she got under the covers, putting K4 into her lap. She seemed nervous to say whatever it was.

“Well, let me just say that I do love and care for you. I’ve loved and cared for you our entire lives. It hurts me that you went through that yesterday. I’m so sorry for what I said to you in that argument and I do not want you to leave. You mean a lot to me. From now on, I promise to be there for you.”

“My opinion of you, Aunt Tami, and Uncle Cash was made for me as soon as I was born. Each day I’ve been here, I’ve understood more and more why Aunt Tami left. There’s just so much to see and do. So many different types of people. So many ways to express yourself. That type of freedom and branching out scared my parents. They sheltered me. Grandmother too. Told me Aunt Tami was a fool for leaving, that she was privileged and you were spoiled.

“They...every time I would do something, they would compare it to you. Got a 3.8 GPA? Cassie got a 4.0. Won a drawing contest? Cassie’s were better. Why don’t I play sports like Cassie? No hugs or congratulations ever. When I graduated, we did nothing. Instead, we came to yours where they showered you. Every nasty thing I spit at you were things they always said. That Aunt Tami left you with people who didn’t care. Everything was a lie. Just...evil. Negative. To make them feel better about their lives. Not only did it alter the way I thought about myself, but the way I viewed our relationship. You weren’t my cousin, but a woman to beat.”

As bad as I wanted to hold my tears back, they came rushing out. My mama warned me of this. And she didn’t do it in a nasty way. She just explained the family has a different opinion and view on us. I always ignored it, thinking it couldn’t be Devyn. To hear what they’ve said about me when the four of them were my only blood on earth...it tore me up. To still think that way after my parents died...

“Being with you has torn all of that down for me. You’re so fun and your personality is contagious. Nobody is perfect and after the shit I’ve done since being here, I clearly realize that I’m not either. You always see families helping and building each other up. Yeah, a little drama here and there, but nothing detrimental majority of the time. Instead of them tearing you all down to make their lives seem better, we all should’ve been taking care of each other. Loving each other and helping through tough times. The envy and competition rooted in some families is insane.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you. And I’m sorry about speaking on Juan and K3. K3 loves you. It’s like a truth spell when he speaks to you. He’s always laying his heart out. I misjudged him since he was behind bars.”

We sat in silence as I dried my face. Clearly, I’m a stranger to her and my family. Instead of talking with me, she held this nasty ass image in her mind. But I love her and will address it instead of arguing.