Page 50 of Betrayed

She gripped his hand tighter. “It hurts so much. I miss her.”

He nodded. His eyes were red and glistened with moisture. He’d always been a man of big feelings. Passion emanated from him in all he did. The pain in his heart was equal to hers.

She wiped at her nose with her sleeve, not willing to let go of the flowers or Logan’s hand. But he let go and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close to his chest.

The air was gone from her lungs as sobs racked her entire being.

He held her, she held him, and they both cried. Together. For the first time in nearly six years.

After a few minutes—maybe it was longer, she didn’t really know or care—they walked the remaining distance to Bree’s tombstone. AJ set the flowers into the vase that was part of the stone’s design. Taking the water bottle out of the bag, she filled the vase.

“She loved black-eyed Susans.” Logan stuffed his hands in the pockets of his shorts.

“She really did.” AJ took a blanket out of her bag and laid it on the ground.

Logan helped her straighten it, and they sat close but not touching. Silence settled between them.

AJ thought back to that dreadful day. They’d gone to the river for a fun afternoon with some people from church. Bree had been learning to swim and was doing a great job. She’d gotten too confident and gone in by herself when they’d turned their backs briefly.

AJ had never seen Logan run so fast. He’d caught Bree not very far down the river, pulled her out, and they had tried to revive her, but it had been too late. She was gone.

Logan broke into her thoughts. “I love how she always wiggled her nose at broccoli.”

AJ chuckled and tears splashed out of her eyes. “She couldn’t decide if she liked it or not. She was so silly.”

Logan nodded.

AJ needed her husband. Why didn’t he see that? He hadn’t seen it in the months after Bree’s death. He’d retreated into himself, not realizing he needed his wife too. AJ risked contact and rested her head on his shoulder.

He didn’t move. Not toward her but not away. “I hate that I failed to save her.”

“You didn’t fail. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was an accident.”

“I should have saved her.”

AJ lifted her head and wrapped her hands around Logan’s elbow. “Logan, please hear me. It is not your fault. Have you blamed yourself all these years?”

“I’m her dad. I should have protected her.”

“You couldn’t have. It was an accident.”

“But …” He met AJ’s eyes.

“No buts, Logan.”

Emotion distorted his face and racked his body.

She tucked her feet under her and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He leaned into her as six years of pent-up emotion spilled out.

She held him and cried with him for at least twenty minutes before Logan found his voice again.

“I can’t forgive myself.”

She grabbed a box of tissues from her bag and offered him one. He plucked it out.

She snatched one too and twisted it in her hands. “Logan, I know two things. One, there’s no need for forgiveness in this because there is no sin. You need to let it go and not hold onto false guilt. And two, Jesus is the one who forgives sin. He’s also the one you need to surrender everything to. All of it. Bree’s death. The fact we weren’t able to save her, even as first responders. The ways I hurt you. The grief. The pain.”

He took another tissue. “Yeah.”

Lord, help him.