Page 96 of Break the Ice

‘Someone has had a glow-up, look at you!’ Inga says, scanning down to my suit.

‘Thank you. And thank you for having us here this evening. Can I introduce you to Phoebe. She’s from London. My girlfriend actually,’ I say, my voice wavering. I see both of them scan her from head to toe, making immediate judgements, and I flinch a little at the awkwardness. ‘Phoebe, this is Inga and Jed, our hosts for this evening.’

‘Oh my, thank you so much for letting me be here this evening. The room is exquisite, totally magnificent,’ she says, taking their hands in turn and shaking them. I force a smile because her accent has changed, completely. It sounds regal. She wasn’t joking about having fun with this. I freeze, terrified of where this may go.

‘Well, only the best. It is New Year’s after all. Have you tried the oysters? All the seafood came in from Cape Cod this morning,’ Jed says.

‘They were delightful,’ Phoebe replies. ‘Not as refined as the French ones, I find, but still lovely.’

I see Jed’s smile flatten and I look down at the floor.

‘So tell me, Phoebe, what do you do?’ Jed asks.

‘I’m training to be a doctor,’ she tells them. Phoebe, seriously?

‘Wow, beautiful and smart,’ Jed says, and I can tell from Phoebe’s face that she’s feeling that ick immediately. ‘Lots of money in medicine these days.’

‘Oh, I’m not really in it for that. I’m keen to finish my training and travel. Daddy has a trust in the Congo and is keen to set up paediatric and maternity wellness clinics there. We have plans to really make a difference to healthcare in that region.’

‘Well, you must speak to Wes Mather, he’s an executive at Pfizer. Great guy,’ Jed tells her.

‘Oh, I will seek him out, for sure,’ Phoebe replies. ‘Projects in that region are always severely underfunded.’

Every cell in me feels incredibly tight, as I try not to giggle or run.

‘And what is it you both do? Joshua’s not really said,’ she replies. I can’t smirk because it’s a little dig, telling them I don’t care enough to have told her that much.

‘I’m a CEO of wealth and investment management at Wells Fargo,’ Jed tells her. Phoebe nods, pretending to be interested.

‘And I sit on a lot of boards but also have my own wellness company,’ Inga says. It’s not wellness, it’s self-promotion on Instagram. She tells people about how she manifested her lifestyle.

‘How lovely,’ Phoebe says, polite but unimpressed.

‘And how are you, Joshua? Are you enjoying London? We were just talking about you the other day,’ Inga says.

And just when I thought Phoebe had helped me control the conversation here, Inga comes at me with a shot like that. You were? What were they saying about me?

‘London is great. Different,’ I say, awkwardly.

‘Bet you’ve missed home though. Nothing beats New York,’ Jed says. Jed who’s obviously never been in the middle aisle of a Lidl. ‘Have you seen Avery yet?’ he adds, his head turning to scan the crowds. No. Not yet. I think I’ll need to be at least two drinks in before that happens. ‘Did you hear she’s been fast-tracked at Davis Polk? Girl’s a spark plug, always has been. You gotta meet Naveen too, great guy.’

Jed knows exactly what he’s doing and it’s painful to think he needs to embarrass me this way.

‘Oh, I get it now. That Avery, the one who…’ Phoebe interrupts, pulling a face to show her disdain, letting them remember what their daughter did to her fake boyfriend.

Both Jed and Inga freeze. ‘But that’s water under the bridge now, right?’ Jed says. ‘We’ve all moved on.’

‘I guess,’ I say.

Phoebe moves in closer to me and puts a hand in mine. I think she thinks I’m sad, but really I’m relieved that I never married into this dynasty, that maybe I dodged a bullet. ‘Which I guess makes me the lucky one. Your daughter’s loss is my most glorious gain.’ She squeezes my hand tightly. You might need to take it easy with the accent, but I squeeze back.

‘See? It all worked out in the end,’ Inga says. She scans Phoebe’s dress. ‘Is that Gucci? I’m trying to place it.’

‘Vintage Amanda Wakeley,’ she replies. ‘I always go British.’

‘It’s… spangly.’

‘Just trying to add a bit of sparkle to your party, Inga,’ Phoebe replies, looking around the place.