Page 102 of Break the Ice

‘Sounds like him,’ I say, smiling.

‘Nice kid. He was here maybe fifteen minutes ago.’

I blow him a kiss. ‘Thank you, Gregory. Happy New Year when it arrives, yeah?’

‘That’s what he said,’ he says, laughing.

I don’t quite know what that means but I head back into the hallway and think about where Joshua may have gone. He wouldn’t have just left me, surely? Maybe I just couldn’t find him in that crazy party room. I look down at my phone for any missed calls or messages. This place is like a maze, black-and-white-chequerboard marble floors, ornate cornicing and frescos on the walls. I go down a marble staircase with brass railings and find the lifts. Has he popped out for air? Maybe Trayvon and Lenny will know. I head out into the foyer, bedecked in palms, with low lighting and again these tall, elegant ceilings with massive crystal chandeliers. It’s so damn classy. Two hours until a brand-new year. Maybe I’ll join Maddie for some mayhem. Or eat some more shrimp. I better google iodine poisoning again. But it’s then I see him, sitting at a table in the bar area by himself, his tie undone around his neck, a glass of something amber in his hand. It’s a relief, that’s for sure, that he’s at least OK, even if he did abandon me at the shrimp tower. I walk over, sit down next to him and take off my heels. He looks at me and smiles as I take my phone out.

‘What are you doing?’ he asks me.

‘I’m taking a selfie with me and that big fuck-off clock behind me. Have you seen it? It’s got a little Statue of Liberty on the top,’ I tell him.

He laughs as a server comes to the table and puts a little cocktail napkin down in front of me. ‘Can I get anything for you, ma’am?’

‘You know, when in Rome… I’ll have a Manhattan please,’ I tell her.

‘Certainly.’

She moves away from the table and I open my clutch. ‘Did you need a snack?’ I ask Joshua.

‘Please tell me you didn’t put shrimp in your clutch?’ he asks me.

‘No, they’re sausage rolls,’ I say, getting one out and putting it in my mouth. ‘Not as good as a Greggs but hey…’ He chuckles and I feel relief to see him laugh, relaxed and away from that party. ‘You left,’ I tell him, wondering what he may have seen or heard.

‘I just came in here for a drink,’ he tells me, taking another sip.

‘And to listen to the calming jazz?’ I ask. I’ve noticed a man at a grand piano to the side of the room.

‘That’s Cole Porter’s piano, you know,’ he tells me.

‘Does he take requests? Does he know any Dua Lipa? Can one sing along with him?’ I ask.

‘No.’

‘Shame.’

I don’t quite know what to say or how to level him out. Naveen is a dick. Avery is not a very nice person. I threw a sausage roll at her head. You taught me how to do that. Tonight might have kicked off a family war between the Pattons and the Abelmans. You are a good soul, Joshua. You deserve more, the world, everything that isn’t within this grand hotel.

‘I came to look for you because…’ He looks at me. ‘I saw Maddie before. Your sister can cut a rug, eh?’

‘Sounds like Maddie,’ he tells me.

I lie. Last time I saw her, she said she was going to put eye drops in the white chocolate fountain, but we’ll see if that materialises. ‘Look, I need to say something…’ I say, hearing my voice trail off.

He leans over the table. ‘Hit me.’

‘Inga said something before about you having a glow-up and you know what I thought? What an absolute crock of shit.’

Joshua laughs and sits back in his chair. ‘You did, did you?’

I look him in the eye, breathless with worry about what I’m going to say next. ‘Because you’ve always had that glow.’ He sits forward. ‘You were always this kind, sweet human who’d drive someone he hardly knew across snow and ice to make sure her nieces had a dog for Christmas Day. Because I know now you didn’t do it for the money. You’re the person who would get in a freezing cold sea to honour a mad family ritual, you’d invite a girl to New York, look after her when she was on her knees because she eats too much rubbish, you’d let her snog you at a Knicks game.’

‘I’m not sure I had much choice in that,’ he says.

‘Shush now,’ I say, grinning. ‘But don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough or that you never had that glow in the first place because, to me, you’re a wonderful wonderful person, you hear me?’ I don’t know why tears mist my eyes at this moment but it does hurt to think of him being put down in any way, that he doesn’t know his own worth. He puts a hand out and I squeeze it tightly. The server comes over and puts my drink in front of me. ‘Thank you. Oooh, a cherry,’ I say, my mouth dry from having said all of that to him in one frenzied go. But it needed to be said, Joshua. It did. I put the cherry in my mouth to shut myself up and then take a sip of the drink. ‘Shitting hell, that is like lighter fluid. What the…’

And Joshua laughs as my face grimaces and gurns into a thousand lines. He puts his glass down. ‘You want to get out of here, Baroness? Fancy a walk?’