Page 92 of Juniper Unraveling

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Your generation. You possess some level of resistance. However variable. Your bodies have changed, evolved with the organism. This world doesn’t belong to us anymore. It belongs to you.”

Tears fill my eyes, and I frown, casting my gaze away from his. “You’re giving up. All these years and …”

“I’m not giving up. I’m moving on. A better place, right?”

“Than this?” I say sarcastically, swiping at my eyes.

His chuckle slips into another cough, and he covers his face again. “I could find a cure, and they’d exploit it. Use it against others. Play God. This place is all that protects them from what they fail to see beyond the wall. Let them stay trapped here. You, on the other hand, weren’t meant for this place. You were meant to venture beyond that wall. To see the world.”

“I get bitten, I still turn. I’m no safer out there.”

“You risk a snake bite every time you walk to the garden. A lion every time you climb a mountain. Wolves and scorpions, and thirst and hunger. There are dangers everywhere, and you still venture out into the world.” He sets a hand to my cheek, thumbing the tear that escapes my eye. “You have to survive, Wren. You will.”

“Alone.”

“Sometimes, that’s the only way to survive.” He jerks his head toward his desk. “Fetch my journal from the top drawer. And the gun beside it.”

A new horror washes over me, and I shake my head. “I’m not ready yet.”

“The infection has accelerated. In a few short days, I won’t know your name. You’ll care for someone who views you as a stranger, and soon after that, a food source. The weakness that keeps me bedbound will subside, and hunger will eventually take over.”

“Then, I wait until that happens.”

“I won’t. What do you think it does to me, knowing that I could possibly forget you?” The sight of his eyes glistening with tears forces me to look away. I’ve never seen him emotional this way. “I need something to take with me when I leave this world for the next.”

“You don’t believe in Heaven. Or God. Remember?”

“God gave me a second chance when he brought you into my life. I’ve decided to return the favor. Please, fetch my journal.”

I do as he asks, rifling through the top drawer until I find a black leather-bound book wrapped with a rubberband, and return to his side with it.

“Everyone has a story, Wren. This book is mine. It has my notes, my findings, my observations. A lifetime of thoughts, for the most part, but you may find some useful. Things that are easier to write than say.”

His sentiment strikes me like a punch in the heart, and the ache pounds against my ribs. In the time I’ve known him, he’s kept his emotions buried deep below his skin. So much so, that at times, I’ve wondered what I mean to him. The thought of reading his journal frightens me more than never knowing, at all.

“Just don’t read it until after I’m gone,” he says. “Some of that shit’s embarrassing.”

A burst of laughter cuts through my tears, and I lift his hand to my lips, kissing the back of his palm. “I’ll stay with you. Until the last beat. And if you try to do it yourself … I’ll join the Daughters, and you’ll be sorry.”

“Daughters.” He sighs, rolling his head on the pillow. “You’ve always been a stubborn child. Besides, I can’t see you spending two seconds in those ridiculous dresses.” His gaze falls to my wrist before I can cover it up. “The bugs again?”

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t let this world eat you alive, Wren. It will, if you don’t keep your wits about you.”

“I promise, Papa.” Another kiss to his hand, and I smile. “I brought you a gift. From Jessie.”

He rolls his eyes and turns his head away from me. “She’s relentless, that one.”

“Probably wouldn’t have hurt to take her on a date one time.”

“No doubt, she’d have come on to me. ‘Sides, I’d have only disappointed her.”

“You’re never a disappointment.”

“Same goes for you.”