Page 83 of Falling Like Snow

Me: You left?

I wait, staring at my phone. No three dots to say he’s typing. Nothing to indicate he’s read it. Just silence and the sting of him leaving before I woke—before we could have a conversation.

Me: The roads still look terrible, so at least let me know if/when you make it home.

I set my phone back on the floor, trying not to panic. I’ve already lost my dad. I cannot lose the most important friend in my life because I kissed him. Why did I kiss him? If I ruined everything, I don’t know what I’ll do.

I take a breath and try to calm my nerves.

I need Asher.

I have to find a way to move forward and pretend like last night never happened—even if I can’t stop replaying it in my head.

Me: At least let me know if you’re alive. Don’t make me call your mother.

Me: Fine, you’ve left me no choice.

Me: She says you’ve been holed up in your room all day. Glad you’re not dead on the side of the snowy road but what gives?

Me: Okay… guess I’ll leave you alone.

Me: Jerkface.

Asher: Sorry, slept most of the day (because you snore like a train). I’ll see you tomorrow.

Me: Are you running late???

Me: And now you’re not at lunch? Are you home sick??

Asher: Cramming.

Me: Where? I’ll join you.

Me:… or not?

Me: Hannah said you ran out after school so she’s giving me a ride home… Are we still on for the Show in the Snow tonight?

Asher: Yeah.

Me: Okay. Are we meeting up there or do you want to come over and go together?

Asher: I’m picking up Daphne, so we’ll just meet you guys there.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Asher’s avoiding me, and I have no idea how to handle it. I’ve spent two days texting him, trying to act like things are fine and normal. Trying to act completely unfazed by the most mind-blowing kiss that has surely ever occurred. Trying to act like I’m not offended by him leaving before I was up, as if he was doing a walk of shame. But seeing as he’s barely responding and actively keeping his distance, maybe we need to face the whole thing head on and have an actual conversation about it.

I just really don’t want to.

Time passes slow as molasses after school, and I can’t focus on anything other than the kiss and whether the kiss ruined us and whether Asher will be kissing Daphne later. So, instead of distracting myself with watching a movie or scrolling through social media, I take the longest shower of my life. Then I blow-dry my hair for the first time in ages to add some volume and curl my otherwise-straight locks into loose waves just like Ellis does nearly every day. And, well, crap, it actually looks cute. Although I don’t usually wear much makeup, I take my time applying foundation, some shimmery powder, rosy blush, and mascara. It goes a long way for how minimal it is. I’m smiling at myself in the mirror when my phone buzzes.

Micah: hey you, want me to pick you up?

Me: I can walk. Thanks tho.

Micah: find me at the bonfire?

Me: perfect.