Page 59 of All the Wandering Light

Tears streamed down my face. They didn’t freeze here, but fell against the grass like rain. Tem held me. It seemed impossible that River could be dead. He had defied death so many times as Royal Explorer—how could be be defeated by a shard of glass? My palms tingled, as if remembering the fire River had summoned days ago.

“Can you stand?” Tem asked when I had calmed.

“I don’t know.” The world tilted again as exhaustion rolled over me like heavy fog.

Branches rustled as Lusha strode into the glade. There were leaves tangled in her hair and a smear of dirt on her cheek. Her chin was stained with drying blood. Yet despite her disheveled appearance, she radiated a self-righteous fury that put me in mind of the warriors depicted on my father’s tapestries. I cringed away in spite of myself.

“What happened?” Her voice was quiet, which was never a good sign.

I recounted it all, speaking rapidly—Lusha’s gaze was like a carpet of hot coals I wanted to escape as quickly as possible. She showed no reaction as I described River’s part.

“Next question,” she said. “Where are we?”

I looked around. “Azar-at?”

The fire demon appeared, a tendril of smoke unfurling from the greenery. I suppressed a shudder of revulsion. The creature was as calm as ever, watching me with its patient, fiery gaze.

I have done as you asked, Kamzin.

“I asked you to take us to the emperor.” My voice shook. Had what I just endured been for nothing? “And you’ve done what? Returned us to his lands? That isn’t the same thing. We should be in the Three Cities right now.”

The Three Cities are close. The creature’s tail began to wag. Shall I take you there?

“No.” I felt dizzy with anger and betrayal, and horror at what I had done. I had sacrificed part of my soul, and abandoned River—and for what? Azar-at had deceived me. How had I not suspected it? I thought of how accustomed I had become to the creature’s power, all the small spells I had cast. It had made me trust it.

The rage that had been building flickered and died, leaving something cold in its place. I tried to grasp at the anger, to summon it again. But it slipped through my fingers—just as River had said.

“You were right,” I murmured, leaning into Tem’s shoulder.

He didn’t need to ask what I meant. Hatred blazed in his eyes as he looked at Azar-at, as if this was all its fault—but, of course, that wasn’t true.

Lusha pressed her hand against her eyes. “What were you thinking, Kamzin?”

I swallowed against the nausea rising in my throat. “I was thinking that I would save our lives.”

“And this is how you chose to do it?”

“I wanted to take us to the emperor,” I said, my voice rising. “To bring him the star, so that he could recast the binding spell. Why is that hard to understand?”

“Perhaps because neither the emperor nor his shamans seem to be nearby. And there’s one other small problem with your plan.” Lusha’s voice still held that threatening calm.

I gazed at her blankly. When I recognized the meaning behind her words, I started so violently I elbowed Tem in the chest. I rooted around on the forest floor, my hands catching at stones, earth, leaves—but not the star. It was gone.

I cursed. “How is this possible? I had it—”

“And now you don’t.” Her voice was vicious. An almost tangible heat flared between us, melting Lusha’s icy demeanor. “You didn’t think to specify that Azar-at should bring the star along?”

“I—”

“You didn’t think,” Lusha repeated, turning away. “You never do.”

I stared. “I never think?”

“It was all for nothing.” She paced back and forth, kicking at stray pebbles and roots in an uncharacteristic display of frustration. “All we’ve been working for since we left Raksha—you’ve thrown it away with another reckless decision.”

I felt as if she had slapped me. “Another reckless decision? How have I been reckless?”

“Do you really need me to say it?” Lusha stopped. “You made a contract with Azar-at, didn’t you? As a result, River was able to track us to the star.”