Page 35 of After We Fall

Will she remember we’re attending the Christmas tree lighting tonight?

Tanya works in the Alzheimer’s unit of a retirement community. Every year, they put on a Christmas program the Sunday after Thanksgiving to light their tree. A local band plays carols while different tenants of the community lead their favorite songs. Tanya’s not working tonight, but she invited us to come. I want to be here to support her, allow her to show off her job. I get the feeling Tanya hasn’t had many opportunities to share with anyone the pride she has in her work.

The four of us sit in folding chairs in the second row, waiting for the program to begin. Garland wrapped in tiny white lights lines the stage, each five-foot strand separated by a poinsettia. The staff all wear black scrubs with various Christmas sweaters.

All I can do is think of Finley and wonder if she’ll show.

Tanya leans over me to speak to Luke, the strings from her hoodie dangling in my lap. We might be stretching the come-as-you-are dress code, with both Tanya and Bianca wearing jeans and sweatshirts. I’m the only one of us not adorned in denim. Instead, I’m wearing my typical business attire. Somehow, though, Luke’s wine-colored Henley and black cowboy boots make more of an impression than my Christmas-inspired green silk shirt.

I may be worried, but I’m not dead. He looks good.

“Mr. Granger? Do you have family nearby?” Tanya asks.

He presses his shoulder against mine, moving closer with his answer. “Not anymore.”

I grind my teeth, tightening down my annoyance. To my dismay, I find myself intrigued by his answer. More to my dismay, I find myself enjoying the warmth of Luke’s arm against mine. And his smell. Something masculine and confident. How someone can smell confident is beyond me, but it oozes from his pores. And it isn’t altogether unpleasant.

Tanya slants toward him again. “Did you grow up in the Springs?”

“Yeah.”

“What part?”

“Garden Lake Village.”

She scrunches her face. “The trailer park?”

“Yeah.”

“Was it as awful as everyone says it is?”

I gasp at the intrusive question. “Tanya.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” she says.

Luke aims his eyes to the stage. “Growin’ up, it was tough sometimes, I guess. Not sure where to belong.”

Not sure where to belong. My soul feels like it wants to reach out and touch him.

“I’m half Black. I don’t fit anywhere either.” Tanya’s whisper tells me her soul might want to reach out to him too. She stretches her arm across my lap and offers her hand.

He slowly turns his head to her, glances down, and takes hold of her hand. “It seems like you found a good place to belong now, Tanya.”

“You have too, Mr. Granger,” she says in a whisper. “You have too.”

They release each other and face the stage while I close my eyes and deep breathe against the tears stinging my nose.

Twelve Bluebells seems to give everyone who darkens its doors a place to belong, no matter where they come from.

Finley once believed she belonged here.

Twisting around, I scan the room for the fifth time, searching for her long brown hair. The dull ache in my stomach upgrades to a pronounced throb.

“Finley’s not here, Penny Lady.” For the first time since we sat down, Bianca joins the conversation. She shifts forward and curves her weight into Tanya, my left side now holding them both at bay. “She won’t be showin’ her face here. We figured out last night she blocked all of our numbers.”

“I’m hoping she came to her senses. She might arrive late.” I crane my neck to bring the back corner of the room into view. “She’s always running late.”

“She’s meritorious for running late,” Tanya says, picking at one of her fingernails.