Page 64 of The Dating Charade

Cassie matched her pace. “I’m sorry, Star. I am. You know I am.”

Star pulled her hair in front of the left side of her face, concealing her eyes.

“But I didn’t forget you,” Cassie continued. “I may have let the time get away from me, but I didn’t forget you. And I would never, ever, ever just leave you. You’re my Star.” Cassie pulled Star’s jacket out from the crook of her arm. “Literally and figuratively.”

She held it out for Star. Waited.

“And if you don’t like that church, I get it. We’ll find another one. One we all want to be a part of.”

Star snatched the coat out of her hands without slowing down.

At the stop sign she strode even faster across the road, and Cassie sped up.

They walked together silently, Star’s breaths coming heavily as the neighborhood houses came to an end. Cars whizzed by as Star stopped, finally, at the stoplight for the main road. Bree slowed the car to a stop beside them, smoke gently curling from the exhaust.

“Look.” Cassie’s breath materialized as she spoke. “The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing. One minute I’m on the best date of my life, the next I’m figuring out how to do laundry for four. You gotta give me a break here. I’ve never had to be a parent before. Heck, you’re doing a better job at parenting than I am half the time.” She looked at the passing cars. “But, for my part, having you guys in my life has also made it the best weeks of my life—”

“You don’t mean it—”

Cassie turned to face her. “Yeah . . . I do. Of course I do.”

For the first time Star, too, turned and met her eyes.

The pit in Cassie’s stomach started quaking. For as much as she knew about Star, there were still parts she had kept hidden all these years, things about her home life she had kept under wraps. Frankly, Cassie didn’t know how Star would respond. To anything. Half of Cassie expected Star to knock her over then and there, shouting she wasn’t her mother.

“But . . . there was a reason I was late on Sunday. A reason I’ve needed to tell you. Something you need to know.”

Cassie felt the words being pulled from her. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell Star about her mother on Sunday, when Star had flown into her room and shut the door for hours on end. Cassie hadn’t found the words the morning after, either, when she’d heard Bailey’s car pull up in the driveway and seen Star leave for school—she could only hope—an hour early.

She didn’t know when the time would be right for this kind of news. Never, it seemed, was the time right for this kind of news.

“It’s . . . about your mom.”

Cassie could see Star’s eyes tighten, a momentary look of surprise before settling back into distance.

“What about her?” she asked quietly.

“They . . .” And suddenly Cassie realized she really had no idea how to handle this. Any of this. “They found her in Memphis. I, uh, I think your mom is going to face some charges. She might have to spend some time in prison. I don’t know how long.”

Star started nodding to the cement, her eyes hard as she bit her bottom lip. The light turned green, but she didn’t move.

Cassie dropped one hand out of her pocket, on the off chance she’d have to grab Star before she ran into traffic.

“And what about us?”

Cassie released an icy breath.

“You guys will stay with me. If you want. For . . .” Her words fell heavily. “For as long as you want.”

Star lifted her chin, brows furrowing. “What are you saying, Miss C?”

“I’m saying—” Cassie lifted her shoulders and dropped them again. “I’m saying I’d like you to stay with me.”

“No,” Star said, her voice rising sharply. “What are you saying?”

And suddenly Cassie was backed into a corner. Suddenly, she knew she should’ve talked with Rachel more about this. Should’ve waited until the PATH foster classes so someone could’ve gone over this conversation in detail, telling her exactly what to say. She didn’t know what she was doing. She hardly knew the meaning of the term “termination of parental rights”—nothing more than what the Wikipedia article had to say.

Someone else should’ve told Star. Star’s guidance counselor. Rachel with DCS. Really, anyone would’ve been better.