Page 42 of Camera Stays On

I’d felt so beautiful, and yet, so…resigned that day.

Resigned to a life of never getting what I wanted and just following someone else around.

“I never really saw you in it.”

I whipped around to find Sawyer standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. “I’d been so angry and focused on hurting you that I didn’t even pay attention when you came down the aisle. And of course, my ma had all the photos destroyed, so I couldn’t even look back.”

He came deeper into the room, the door softly closing behind him.

“I’m sorry, Purdy. I wish I’d been more mature back then.”

My mind went blank at his apology. Did he really mean that? In that moment, he wasn’t my shitty, manipulative, abusive ex. He was...Sawyer.

I’d wished he’d been a lot of things back then. Mature, selfless, less controlling. But focusing on the past did nothing for the future.

“It’s okay,” I found myself saying. “We were young and dumb and didn’t really know what we were doing. It was silly to get married then anyway.”

“Was it? Because if I could go back, I’d definitely say ‘I do.’”

My stomach twisted into knots as his question hung in the air. I stared at him, the familiarity between us returning strong. He wanted me to agree with him. If we did go back, and I had the chance to recite my vows with Sawyer, would I?

No.

“Can I see you in it?” Sawyer asked.

“What?” His gentle voice pulled me from my memories.

“Before everyone else does. Can you put it on for just me?” His tone was strained, and I found myself glancing at the door he was blocking. If I tried to leave, he’d stop me. Flashes of previous arguments we’d had filled my mind, and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Okay,” I whispered, unsure where the words were coming from. I pulled the dress off the bed and went to my private bathroom, where I took off the brand-new clothes to slide on the wedding dress I’d hoped I’d never see again. It fit perfectly, just as it had the day I’d almost gotten married. I zipped it as best as I could, but I must have taken too much time, because Sawyer knocked on the door.

“Do you need help?” He peeked in, his eyes closed tight. “I won’t look.”

I turned away from him. “The zipper, if you could.”

Sawyer’s hands on my waist sent a chill through me, and I tried not to jerk away as he searched for the zipper without looking. He found it and zipped the dress up, and without a word slipped back out of the bathroom. I inhaled deeply, bracing myself. For what, I was unsure. After a long moment, I turned the doorknob and exited, hoping Sawyer didn’t see how nervous I was.

He’d been sitting on the bed and instantly leaped up when he saw me. His eyes widened, and his mouth fell open a hair as he took me in.

“Purdy, you’re beautiful.”

Heat flushed my cheeks, and I looked down at the floor. “Thank you.”

Suddenly, I wished he’d seen me then as well. We would have had a beautiful wedding day had things been different.

But not a beautiful marriage.

I went to the large mirror glued to the wall. It had been here from the previous owners and ran from one wall to the other, from ceiling to floor. I raised my skirt and gazed at my reflection.

Five years had come and passed since that day, and still it fit and looked like it was just yesterday. I didn’t smell or see any signs of mildew—just the dirt I’d collected at the bottom of the skirt when running out of the church.

Sawyer came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and settling his chin in the divot in my shoulder. I shuddered as goosebumps pebbled the flesh he touched, but he didn’t seem to notice. “You’re just as gorgeous as you were back then, Purdy. Even more so. And this dress...” His hand traveled down my hips, resting on my thigh. He clenched some of the fabric and raised it up, revealing my leg. “It’s such a shame I never got to defile you in it.” His lips touched my ears as he spoke, and I suddenly came to, realizing what was happening. I pushed out of his embrace, swallowing my disgust.

“I was nervous about wearing it for the movie, but it moves well.” My stomach twisted, and my heart began to speed up. My gaze darted toward the exit. “Should be able to run just fine.” My hands went to my hair, and I started to style it up. “And I can do my own hair and makeup as planned. It’ll be great.” I knew I was talking just to avoid the silence—or worse, Sawyer talking. He saw through me and shook his head.

“Good.” He gave me a tight, forced smile. It was clear from his eyes that he wasn’t happy his plan to seduce me had been thwarted. But I sure as hell was. He went over to the door and grabbed the handle. “Go ahead and hang that up until we start shooting. We can discuss more details with everyone tonight. Oh, and Purdy?”

He paused and I cocked my head, still holding my hair up on the top of my head, trying to cool down.