Page 68 of A Winter Wish

There were fifteen of them on the trip in total, but Lexie and Theo were spending this evening with just four of them, as the others had decided to spend time on their own.

Helen, George and Cece’s mum, caught Lexie’s eye from across the table, and mouthed, “Are you OK?”

Lexie nodded, and Helen held up her half pint of Guinness in a little thank-you. Both she and Helen were trying Guinness—though Lexie’s glass was mostly untouched, because she was struggling with the strong flavor.

Next to Helen, Theo was nodding along to Miranda—the “tricky” client he had mentioned when he first broached the trip to Lexie. She was currently giving a rundown on things she thought weren’t up to scratch, including the fact that it was a bit wetter than she would have liked, given it was August (with a gesture outside to where misty rain was setting in), and that the giants hadn’t been quite as big as she’d expected. Theo shot Lexie a wink, and Lexie looked away quickly, back to the coloring book.

She still wasn’t sure quite how she’d ended up on this trip. It seemed like Theo had mentioned it offhand, and then he’d sort of assumed that she’d be going. And she’d let herself go along with that, for reasons she didn’t want to dig into too much.

Helen sighed. “I’d better get them to bed soon.”

Lexie glanced up at Helen, who smiled.

“I’m just having such a lovely time—trying to put off the end of things tomorrow.”

It had been her first time away as a single parent, Helen had told Lexie earlier this weekend, and she’d gone from being worried about being a nuisance to seeming relaxed and happy in just a few days. Lexie supposed this was where the magic happened. Supporting people on holiday, helping them find a trip that suited their means and lifestyle, whether that was an exotic two-week holiday or a short weekend away. Giving people a break from reality might not be much in the grand scheme of things, but Lexie couldn’t deny that it gave her a little glow—it was like the happiness was catching.

“And really,” Miranda was saying, in a rather posh English accent, “if so much of it is going to be outside, they ought to set up more gazebos and the like, don’t you think? I know it’s not your fault, but do you think you could put in a complaint about that?” Her eyebrows—plucked so thin you could barely see them—pulled together. “And maybe make it clear on your brochures, you know?”

Lexie couldn’t help it—she glanced up at Theo again, who caught her eye, and grinned. She needed to stop looking at him, for God’s sake. She’d been waiting, all weekend, for him to make some kind of move, but he hadn’t, and instead of that making her feel calmer, she felt all jittery as a result. He hadn’t so much as held her hand. Because it was a work trip, and it would be unprofessional? Or because he’d changed his mind about it not being just a one-time thing? Maybe, between the Christmas in July party and now, he’d come to his senses and realized what a terrible idea it would be to take things further. Even if taking things further was pretty much all she seemed to be able to think about right now.

The violins struck up for the next song—a fun, fast piece of music, the type that makes you bounce your knee when you’re sitting still. Then the singer started—a woman with a beautiful, soft voice—and Lexie found herself wishing she knew the tune so that she could hum along.

“I want to dance!” Cece announced, getting to her feet to prove the point.

“Oh, I don’t know if…” Helen began, at the same time as Lexie said, “I’ll dance with you.” She looked at Helen. “If that’s OK with you, I mean?” She could do with dancing off some of the frustrated energy that was pulsing through her.

“I don’t mind, but are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” There was a small space in front of the band—Lexie wasn’t sure if it was meant for dancing, but everyone in here seemed friendly enough to at least give it a go. She got to her feet and held her hand out to Cece, who took it, following Lexie out to the middle of the floor, between tables where people were finishing their Sunday evening pints.

Lexie looked over her shoulder. “Coming, George?”

He shook his head, moving around to the other side of the table to half hide behind Helen, like Lexie might be about to force him.

Lexie looked down at Cece. “Just you and me, then.” And she spun Cece around, making her giggle.

There had been a time when her dad had danced with her like this, turning the music up loud in their little cottage and spinning her around in the living room. She remembered being a teenager, too, on a day when she’d been forced to go out with her dad and Jody and Rachel. She’d told her mum she didn’t want to go, because Jody never made her feel welcome, and because it didn’t seem fair that her dad could cancel on her but she couldn’t cancel on him. But she’d been overruled. They’d gone shopping—it must have been around Christmastime, because Lexie could remember the lights in all the shops and had a distinct impression of sparkle. Lexie had trailed behind the family of three, feeling like she didn’t belong—and feeling resentful because of it. There had been a band, playing in the street—and Jody had danced with Rachel, who was only little at the time. Her dad had tried to get her to dance too, taking her hand and encouraging her into a spin.

Come on, Little Lex, dance with me!

She’d pulled her hand away, scowled. I’m not that little anymore.

She still remembered the look he’d given her, before he’d smiled—sad, and something deeper there. A realization, of time passing by? I know, he’d said, giving her shoulder a little squeeze.

Lexie pushed away the memory and threw herself into the music with Cece—who danced much more exuberantly than Lexie, oblivious to the potential embarrassment. The singer of the band smiled at them both, a few staff members came over to clear a bit more space, and more people came up to join them. They started linking arms and swinging each other around, going so fast that it made Lexie breathless. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, Helen and George coming to join in, then Theo and Miranda. It seemed like the whole pub was getting involved, and whether or not the band had been expecting this—whether or not it was supposed to be the type of place where everyone got up and danced—they were relishing it, barely pausing between songs, the music fast and infectious. Someone had propped the front door open and outside, the rain grew heavier, sheets of it cascading down, but the sound of it only seemed to spur everyone on.

As she danced, spinning in the summer dress she was wearing despite the rain, all the while she was aware of where Theo was. How they were gradually moving closer as everyone linked arms again. She briefly lost sight of Cece, then saw her again with Helen and George, the three of them holding hands and jumping. Then, finally, she was next to him, and when their arms linked it was such a relief to be able to touch him, to feel his bare arm against hers, even if only for a brief moment before they changed partners again. The next time they met, he caught her gaze, held it. She felt her pulse leap at the base of her throat at the way his eyes glowed. Then his lips slowly tugged upward into that cocky smile she hated. Only she realized that she didn’t hate it at all. His grin spread, like he knew that, and while it should have annoyed her, in that moment it hit her that, despite how she’d gotten here, despite what these past months had entailed, this was where she wanted to be right now. In a pub in Ireland, dancing to music that made your soul come alive—with Theo by her side.

Chapter Twenty-six

Later, after Helen had taken the kids back to where they were all staying at the Coach Inn next door and Miranda had retired too, claiming she needed a good night’s sleep because the temperature hadn’t been quite right in her room last night, Theo and Lexie sat opposite each other at the table in the corner, their knees nearly touching. The candlelight in the pub was flickering and the crowd was thinning out. They both had half a glass of red left, and Lexie knew she was nursing it, in the hope of dragging out the evening.

“So,” Lexie said, tapping her fingernails against the glass. “I’d say Ireland isn’t that bad, after all.”

Theo laughed as he leaned back against his chair. “The last time I was in Ireland, it was to watch my old girlfriend get married.” He said it casually, no hint of hurt, but Lexie’s heart spasmed. The last time he was in Ireland—earlier this year, when he’d come back all tense?

“Were you…Was she…?” But she didn’t know what exactly she was trying to ask.