Page 40 of A Winter Wish

Lexie straightened, trying to look like she’d been bent over for a perfectly legitimate reason, like tying a nonexistent shoelace, or picking up a pen. Then she stood all the way up, because it felt weird to be sitting down as Rachel walked over to her.

Rachel didn’t look entirely comfortable either. She was twisting a bracelet on one of her wrists, and her eyes kept darting to Lexie and then away again. When had Lexie last seen her, not counting the funeral? She couldn’t actually put a finger on it. She was struck again by the confusing sensation that Rachel was so much older than when they’d last met—and yet still so young. Young enough that it should have been Lexie being the bigger person here.

Lexie tried to work up a smile. She could do this. “Hi, Rachel.”

Rachel stopped playing with her bracelet and dropped her hand to her side.

Lexie noticed her fingernails were bitten all the way down, the skin around them red and raw-looking. Had she always had that habit? Lexie couldn’t remember.

“Hi.” She took a deep breath, and under her denim jacket, Lexie saw her chest heave with the motion. “Look, I’m sorry to barge in like this. It’s just, you haven’t really been answering and I thought we ought to…well, talk. And I heard that you were working here now, so…”

“Right.” Lexie felt uncomfortable heat rush down her spine. “Well, I can’t really—”

But she was cut off by the sound of Theo’s voice—he had apparently slid in the door without anyone noticing. Lexie was ready to take his appearance as a get-out, explain that she needed to talk to him about something—but he wasn’t even looking at her. Instead, balancing three teas in his hands, a grin spread across his face as he looked at her sister. A real grin—one she didn’t think she’d seen before.

“Rach!” He strode in, dumped the mugs on the corner of Lexie’s desk, then wrapped Rachel in a big bear hug. “How the hell are you?”

Lexie stared at the two of them. He knew her? Of course he did. Rachel and Richard weren’t estranged, were they? Something hot and ugly bubbled at the base of her throat, even as she tried to swallow it down. She wasn’t even sure why she was feeling like this. But seeing Theo greet Rachel like this, like an old friend, compared to the way he’d treated her when they’d first met…

She swiped her tea—the milkier one—off the desk, spilling liquid over the rim and wincing as it seared her fingers. She cleared her throat and the two of them broke apart, Rachel looking a little flushed, but happy, the edges of Theo’s grin still lingering. “I’ll leave the two of you to catch up, then,” she said, gesturing with her tea to the door, and the back room she was going to hide in. It was childish, to try to escape like this, but right then, she didn’t care. Rachel shouldn’t have just sprung this visit on her. And Theo—he should have told her he knew her sister.

When, Lexie? In all those heart-to-hearts you have?

“Oh no, wait,” Rachel said, her voice quick and jittery, the flush in her cheeks deepening but her smile fading. “It’s you I wanted to talk to.”

“Right,” Lexie said. “But I’m a bit busy just now.” She gestured around, trying to convey a general workplace busyness. “Sorry you came all this way.”

She hesitated, clocking the way Rachel’s face was falling. And tried to push away the guilt.

“Sorry,” she said again, her voice quieter. “Another time, yeah?” Another time, when she’d had time to prepare. When she didn’t have Theo right here, watching the entire conversation.

She walked quickly, doing her best not to spill her tea in the process. When she reached the back room—and thankfully it was empty—she sank into Ange’s swivel chair, cupping her mug between her hands for comfort.

Shit. Was she really that pathetic, that immature, that she couldn’t handle a quick conversation with her sister? Her little sister, no less? She glanced at the door. She should go back out there. Suggest they go somewhere else—away from prying ears.

But just as she was thinking it, the door swung open, and Theo came barging in, a scowl already set in place. “What the hell was that about?” he demanded.

She scowled right back at him. “None of your damn business.”

“You were so rude to Rachel. She’s your sister, and you just completely blew her off.”

“I’m well aware of who she is, thanks.” But she could feel heat in her cheeks and found herself gripping the mug more tightly.

“I think you should go back out there, apologize.”

“Do you, now?” She tried to control the anger curdling in her gut. “Well, thanks for your input. But seeing as how, as mentioned, it’s none of your business, maybe you ought to keep your opinions to yourself.”

He folded his arms. “She’s upset. I know her, and she’s trying to hide it, but she is.”

“Yes, you know her. I got that.” Her voice was a snap.

“What, so now you’re upset that I’ve met her before?”

“Don’t be so ridiculous.” Was that what she was upset about? It had shaken her, yes. But right now everything felt tangled and she couldn’t work it out. One thing was sure, though—Theo clearly knew Rachel well enough to care whether she was upset or not. Whereas, with Lexie, he hadn’t cared one bit.

“She lost your dad too, Lexie.”

His voice might have been gentler, but hers grew louder. “I know that! For fuck’s sake, what are you after here? Don’t you ever consider that I might have my own emotions to deal with?” She set her mug down on Ange’s desk and got to her feet, suddenly unable to sit still. She started pacing. “Doesn’t it occur to you that the reason I can’t talk to her is because our dad is gone? And because she had a completely different dad from me, and I don’t know what to say to her about that? Because I don’t want to make it worse for her?”