Page 96 of Back for Seconds

“Good,” I said blandly, twirling the stem of my wine glass between my thumb and forefinger. Faster and faster. I couldn’t go backward. I wouldn’t. “I think she’s fucking her bunkmate.”

And then I watched as all the haughty pride drained from his face.

Chapter 32 Joey

At least I made it over the bridge before the urge to turn around completely overwhelmed me, forcing me to momentarily pull over.

At least I didn’t immediately turn back to June and try to smooth things over.

I really didn’t do shit like this.

I didn’t run away when situations got hard or weird or scary. I didn’t abandon people when they needed help from me…while I was helping them. I’d grinned and bore ten years with Amber, not because she wanted me by her side. I’d done it because I felt like she was part of my world, my circle of protection.

The sun set in big marigold streaks that sat low behind the beach houses, framing their gabled roofs like halos. I drove with the windows down, breathing in the smell of the bay, since it had been an unusually warm December day. It smelled like an oyster on a half shell, like a dirty martini.

I watched the sky change with my hands wrapped tight around the steering wheel. The world went from sun-drenched to midnight black, and the only thought that I could muster up the whole time was that I had lied to June.

I’d told her I didn’t want to be her friend.

That wasn’t true. Plain and simple.

I was not only head-over-heels in love with the woman—I also just really liked her. Her personality. Her perspective. Her way of calming me down, being with me in my feelings and not judging me.

Truth be told, I would take June in any form I could have her. Fuck, I’d do her taxes if it meant I at least got to hear from her twice a year.

And that ring was in her house for a reason. And it fit on her finger for a reason. And whether it took June ten minutes or ten years to reach that conclusion too, I would wait for her.

***

By the time I made it back to the beach house on Venus Ave, June’s car was gone from the driveway and all the lights were out. So I sat on the porch with my aluminum tray and got comfortable. I opened up TikTok and read through some recent comments on my latest video.

You have to take care of you first, roastbeefqueef12 wrote. You share so much of yourself with us, it’s ok to keep some parts sacred.

Wise advice from an unlikely source. I decided to reply: I’m going to remember this, roastbeef. Thank you.

When I looked up from my phone, I found the otherwise dark, foggy street was illuminated by quick approaching headlights. When June turned into the driveway, I stood and waved from the steps.

“Joey.” It was the first thing out of her mouth when she closed the car door behind her. Her cheeks and nose were bitten with cold, her dark hair hanging over her shoulder underneath a beanie. I could see her breath coming in a shallow pulls.

“We’re friends,” I said as I descended her front steps. “And I’ll always be here for you. However you need me.”

“You came all the way back here just to tell me we’re friends?”

I nodded. “I did. I didn’t want to leave things like that. ”

“You…” She let out a huff of laughter, closing her eyes. She smiled.

“Do you remember what I said to you the last time I was here? That I would never let you slip away. I said I would show up at your house with eggplant balls every day, begging you to talk to me. June, I want to give you space—time—whatever. Whatever you want, I want to give it to you. But not at the expense of…of who I fundamentally am. And this is who I am.” I swallowed against the tightness in my throat. It wasn’t the constriction that warned me I might start crying, it was nerves. Fear. I was afraid that June might reject me, once and for all. “I feed people. I help people.”

She opened her eyes and fixed me with a fiery look, uncrossing her arms and letting her purse slide down until it hit the ground with a dull thunk. “Well, I don’t want to be your fucking friend anymore.”

I blinked, pulling back at the sting of her words. “Oh?”

“I…” June stepped toward me. Closer and closer. What was happening? “I want to be your girlfriend. Like a high schooler. I want to write your name in my notebook and draw hearts around it. I want you to pick me up in your Hyundai sedan. I want to fall asleep on the phone with you. And I want you to make me feel as safe and as loved as I have for the last seven days, because—goddamnit, Joey, you are so special. You are special and if I lost you, I would never forgive myself.”

I shook my head. Dumbfounded. “What?”

“You heard me, Pagano.” She took one last step toward me. She was so close I could smell her shampoo, her perfume. She held me with that wide-eyed gaze of hers. All fire and passion. “Now, can you just please fucking kiss me? I just had to spend an hour with my horrible dad, and I really, really missed you.”