Page 32 of Everything She Wanted

We’re standing just inside the doors to the reception hall at his cousin’s wedding, next to a flowery sign that says “Welcome to Gurdeep & Rani’s Reception” in sweeping calligraphy. The lights are dim, soft Hindi music is flowing out the open doors, and guests are milling about everywhere. I catch a glimpse of the bridesmaids in varying shades of green lehengas, posing against a yellow satiny photo backdrop with golden butterflies hanging from the ceiling above them. The whole place looks like an enchanted forest and they’re the glittery fairies.

“Are you fucking kidding me? It’s Saturday.” He rolls his eyes at me, exasperated.

I’m the misfit fairy who should have taken this weekend off-call, but I didn’t.

“There was a data breach, okay? That’s all I know.” I give his arm a squeeze trying to get him to understand.

“Nish, you don’t even work in IT, why do you need to be there?”

“I have to get messages ready for employees, stakeholders, and if it comes to it, the media.”

“Can’t they get someone else to do that?” He shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling. “Fuck, they’re probably not going to even pay you for this.”

“It’s my responsibility,” I share quietly.

“Quit. Just quit,” he challenges me.

I dig my heels into the soft, plush carpet and look away. My eyes land on the floating LED candles next to the table beside the guest book.

I place a hand on the wall to steady myself before answering. “I can’t.”

Sometimes Shaan acts as if I work at the local diner, rather than in a coveted position at Evolve Tech, one of the hottest new start-ups creating a massive buzz throughout the entire industry.

“You’re going to miss everything. I mean, the speeches haven’t even started yet.” His arrogance is baffling, but I stuff down the feelings boiling within me, like I always do.

Although most of his cousins have careers and work full time, they also have cars and houses paid for by their parents and still argue over who gets more. I could never wrap my head around it. I paid for school with student loans, and I felt so guilty when my mom would tuck some cash in my purse for lunch when I was in university.

“I’m sorry. I’ll come back soon if I can.”

It’s just after 9 p.m. The bride and groom arrived late. They pushed dinner before the speeches and performances to feed the hungry guests. That’s what happens when you’re jamming so much into one day and changing outfits in between every event like an awards show.

He just shakes his head. His disappointment settles into my bones. “Whatever.” He stalks off like a petulant child.

Even so, I want to chase after him, and I wrack my brain to think of a way out of this. I hate it when he’s unhappy with me, and I want to make things right.

Everyone on the communications and marketing teams rotate weekends to be on-call just in case. It ends up being only a few times a year, and since nothing ever happens, I didn’t think much of it when my turn came up this weekend. The only rules are that you have to be in town, and you can’t drink.

I could’ve pretended I had some drinks, and they would call someone else, but it didn’t feel right, and besides, this is another chance to prove myself.

“There you are.” Anjali sashays toward me with a drink in hand. “Can’t wait for the dancing to start.” She twirls me around, already a little drunk.

The bridesmaids walk through the hall doors in a shimmery swirl of earthy tones, and I steal a look at the ornate crystal vase centrepieces overflowing with lush greenery, gold-painted roses, and cascading orchids that spill over the sides like a flowery waterfall. Twinkling lights are woven throughout the arrangement, and golden rose petals strewn on each table. They cast a romantic glow on the linen-draped tables. It’s a lavish display of the world that I’m desperately trying to fit into. But do I belong here? Is this what I really want? I thought it was, but I’m not sure anymore.

“I can’t stay.”

“Why? What’s up?” She takes the last sip of her drink.

“There’s a crisis at work.”

“I get it.” She places her glass on an empty side table nearby.

“I should say bye to Auntie Ji and Uncle Ji first, though.” I look around frantically as if they’ll suddenly materialize. I can already sense Shaan’s mom’s disapproval, and it’s almost too much to bear.

“Good luck finding them in there.” She laughs.

I hesitate for a moment and then realize she’s right.

“Just go. I’ll cover for you.”