Page 66 of Engineering a Love Story

The surging warmth in my body also brings a new frustration. The sneaking around, the lying—all of that was bad. But I shouldn’t have to take the blame for things I didn’t do. I never intentionally misled Gilroy clients about Aurelian. I didn’t do what Russ Boyer is saying.

After my ride, I stop for a tall mug of coffee and a cinnamon bun, even though I know I should be counting every penny and eating cold cereal back in my apartment. With sticky fingers, I find my laptop and start pulling copies of my research reports off the Gilroy site. I email these to my personal account, so I’ll have writing samples for future job interviews.

I’m browsing recent reports when I see Alice Tuthill’s name and I stop short, remembering what she said back in New York. It’s a Hail Mary pass, I know it is. I’ve already been fired. But can it hurt to ask?

Alice’s number is on the Gilroy intranet, and I dial her. Expecting to land in her voicemail, I’m surprised when she answers on the second ring. “Chelsea. Nice to hear from you. I was sorry to hear about your dustup on the RD call yesterday. What can I do for you?”

I’m confused by her congenial tone. “I remembered what you said at your office. You expressed interest in having me on your team, given my background, and so I wondered …” I trail off, suddenly certain this is a nonsensical inquiry.

“Did Howard Volpe fire you?”

I admit that he did. My employment with Gilroy has been terminated. There isn’t anything Alice can do about it. “I apologize. I can—”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Alice inhales deeply. “Tell me. I heard two things yesterday. The first had to do with a personal relationship you had—and I’m not interested in that at all. There is nothing in any Gilroy policy about our romantic lives. That’s none of anyone’s business. But the second thing was more serious. That you might have published something intentionally erroneous. Potentially as a favor to someone. Is that true?”

“No. It is not.” My voice is maybe a little too loud. “It was never anything like that. Not explicitly or implicitly.” I gather my defense. “It was my first time publishing a Market Spotlight and I wanted to deliver it early. To impress Howard—or everyone, maybe. I rushed. That, I’ll own. But I never wrote anything I knew to be untrue.”

Alice pauses for a few, long moments, and then she says, “I can stomach that. We’ve all been sloppy at times. If what you’re saying is true, then there are no grounds for your termination. As I said, there’s no official Gilroy position in this area. I reminded Howard of that yesterday.”

A soreness blooms under my ribcage, knowing Howard chose to give me up.

“There is a spot for you on my team,” Alice says, and I’m so relieved, I have to lower myself to the sofa. “But I need to speak with Howard. He’s senior to me and I can’t blatantly cross him. Let me call him and see—”

“No. I’ll do it.” I’m already asking a lot of Alice. I won’t make her fight my battles too. Plus, I can’t bear to think of any of them discussing me again. “If you don’t mind. I can go see Howard today.”

***

I find Howard in his office early that afternoon. He looks wary when he sees me, like he’s worried I’m going to cause a scene, begging for my job back; he’s probably heard how I yelled at Evan yesterday.

I apologize for lying to him and for acting irresponsibly with Gilroy’s research, and his face relaxes when he hears me speaking calmly. “None of it will happen again,” I say.

At this, Howard’s shoulders lift slightly, as if he’s about to remind me that I no longer work for him.

My temperature rises a little, but I force myself to continue, telling him about my conversation with Alice. “I can revise and reissue the Market Spotlight before I make the transfer,” I say. “But she wants to be sure you’re comfortable with my staying on.”

“Evan will make those revisions.” Howard speaks sharply, and for a moment, I think he’s going to refuse me completely. “But I won’t stop you from going to work for Alice. Effective immediately.” He looks down at whatever draft report he has laid out on his desk, and it’s clear he wants me to go.

I thank him and begin to retreat, wondering if I should apologize again, but then I decide I shouldn’t be the only one saying I’m sorry. I leave in silence.

At my desk, I send Alice a quick note letting her know about my conversation with Howard. I thank her for giving me another chance. I can’t fully assess what it might mean to stay at Gilroy, given what’s happened. With a knotted gut, I remember too that Walter is on Alice’s team, but I can’t worry about that right now. I don’t have enough savings to make a single month’s rent without this job.

Alice writes back immediately: Excellent news. It will be great to have you on board. I’m traveling the rest of this week but how about you come to New York next week. Stay a few days?

November

Thirty-Nine

I take the rest of the week off. I clean my apartment and fill my refrigerator, grateful I’m able to do so. On Friday night, I take myself to see The Perfect Storm at the second-run movie house in Harvard Square. As I get lost in the inescapable destruction of the small fishing vessel, I’m reassured: Some people have real problems. After the movie, I stop at the used bookstore and stock up on classics. The weekend alone, eating, reading, and cycling, it’s a balm. I sleep.

On Monday, I take the train to New York and spend the afternoon at the Gilroy office. Alice and I review application development, how she divides the research, and who is on her team. In addition to Walter, there’s Tracy, who is actually one of four women on Alice’s team, not counting Alice and myself. This is a surprisingly high number of women for any kind of tech team.

Alice hopes I’ll pick up coverage of client and server-side scripting languages. Interest in these is growing as more apps get built natively for the web. She also asks if I might look at some staffing issues related to how large development departments are adjusting to the internet.

During our session, Alice focuses entirely on business and I’m impressed by her knowledge and how well she organizes her team. I find I’m excited for the new role. I won’t miss banking and I’m relieved to be clear of Ronald Spillane. And everyone at Aurelian.

Alice only mentions my situation with Seth once, as our meeting winds down. She removes her reading glasses, which are chunky and have rainbow stripes, and she twirls these with two fingers. “As I told you last week, there are no published Gilroy policies related to your personal relationships, but you’ve already seen there can be complications—” I try to interrupt, but she raises a hand. “It’s not my business.” She lowers her hand. “Though I do advise caution.”

“Of course. I won’t do anything like that again.”