Page 35 of The Wedding Forecast

‘AFTER THAT TRAINWRECK of a conversation tonight, please don’t let my parents interact tomorrow,’ Hayley says. She’s pacing, a bad sign.

I’m lying on the bottom bunk in my room, and nodding. While I was having my brief bathroom dalliance, Bobbi and Hayley’s dad, Gary, veered past small talk and into the minutiae of the cost of the wedding and Gary opened up the Spreadsheet on his phone. Hayley and Luke’s family started a joint spreadsheet for the wedding, in the name of transparency, so everyone could see exactly who was paying for what and how much it cost. It has been probably the biggest cause of stress in Hayley’s life for the past ten months but she doesn’t have the admin controls to delete it, and so it has attained capitalisation status of the Spreadsheet, a ticking time bomb, a Pandora’s box, the crown jewel I should have been guarding. Luckily Jean intervened before things got too heated.

‘I won’t let them even look at each other,’ I say.

I feel bad. I failed at my one job. ‘I’m sorry, Hayls.’

‘It’s not your fault, you were dealing with your own personal hell,’ Hayley says. She means Bianca. I told her about the argument with Joel, and me comforting Bianca, but not about kissing Mac. That felt…too embarrassing. Too out of character. Too surreal. I think of it and it’s like I’m watching a movie of someone else. I need a moment alone with Mac to make sure we can agree to lock those five minutes away in a secret vault labelled ‘Hot but unhinged’.

I assure Hayley I know the plan for tomorrow. We’ve been through it like it’s a bank robbery or a jewellery heist. Bobbi cannot interact with Gary again. If she has something to say about Gary’s speech (she will) or Gary’s wife Leone’s dress (she will) or Gary’s drinking (without a doubt) then she needs to write it in the group chat we set up for the wedding (that Hayley is not part of) or take me or Mum or Jean aside privately and say it to us quietly. Bobbi knows these rules. She has agreed to these rules. But she also agreed to the ‘no opening the Spreadsheet’ rule and that was cast aside very quickly.

‘It’s my main focus,’ I assure Hayley. ‘I won’t be distracted again.’

‘And Luke’s uncle.’

‘He is not getting near any woman under forty on the dancefloor.’

‘And Luke’s mum—?’

‘I know. Don’t let her talk to the DJ.’

‘And—’

‘Hayls, I have this.’

‘I know.’

‘I’ve been training for this my whole life.’

‘I should be marrying you.’

‘I’m open to it.’

‘At the very least, I should live with you.’

‘You do live with me.’

‘In a guaranteed forever way.’

‘You’ve seen my savings and you’ve seen the housing market. I think it’s as good as guaranteed.’

‘Did Mum show you her speech?’

‘Not yet.’ I had hinted to Bobbi she should show it to me. As a joke! In case she needs ideas! To spellcheck! And now I was straight up hassling her to show me. Hayley had insisted I needed to vet it.

‘What if she doesn’t show you?’

‘I’ll hack her computer.’

‘You know how to hack?’

‘Her password is Hayley123. So it’s not so much hacking as logging in.’

‘Okay. So everything is under control.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why am I so nervous?’