Page 20 of The Wedding Forecast

‘Love of your life,’ Mum quickly corrects.

Oh my god. I see Mac’s eyebrows shoot up, and Hayley gasps.

‘There’s a Patrick at my wedding I don’t know about?’ Hayley asks.

‘Of course the Patrick thing is happening this weekend,’ Luke says in a resigned voice.

‘Who’s Patrick?’ Mac asks.

‘What does he look like?’ I say, before I can help myself. Please let him be wildly attractive. I need some good news.

The Patrick thing began right after my breakup with Joel, when the mums thought I needed to do something symbolic. Burn something, Bobbi had suggested. That was her go-to for everything. Mum had been against it at first, because she thought I would burn the house down, but then she warmed to the idea of me burning a picture of Joel as long as it was in a metal tub outside on a patch of concrete with the hose ready nearby.

‘Burning a picture of him feels very aggressive,’ I had said.

‘It’s the only way,’ Bobbi said.

‘Did you burn a picture of Dad?’ Hayley said.

‘No, I didn’t have to—I discovered women,’ Bobbi said. ‘That’s the best cleanser of a man you can ever have.’

Everyone looked at me.

‘I could try but I think I’m still attracted to men. I’m sorry,’ I said.

‘We work with what we’re given,’ Bobbi said.

‘I just want to feel good about myself again,’ I said. ‘I need some hope.’

‘Go to my hairdresser, get some highlights,’ Mum said. Mum’s solution to any crisis is highlights.

‘You know what you need? I heard about this excellent psychic,’ Hayley said.

‘Oh yes,’ Bobbi said. ‘My friend Evelyn swears by Sue.’

‘Yes! Sue! That’s who I’m talking about! For thirty dollars, she’ll email you the name of your soulmate.’

‘I am not getting some random psychic to email me a soulmate. I don’t even believe in soulmates,’ I said. The word had always grated on me but especially now post-Joel.

‘Fine. Not a soulmate. Think of it as…the love of your life,’ Bobbi said.

‘What’s the difference?’ I said.

‘It’s subtle but it’s there,’ Hayley said. ‘“Soulmate” can be a bit pathetic, but “love of your life” is romantic.’

‘Just hearing the name of someone else might clear your aura,’ Bobbi said. She is much more woo-woo than Mum.

‘She shouldn’t be wasting money on this,’ Mum said.

She had worried about my finances a lot since the breakup. And before then too. Mum and Dad both grew up without much money, and they have never lost that fear of losing everything in a moment.

‘It’s cheaper than highlights,’ Hayley said. ‘And more fun.’

‘It is only thirty dollars,’ I said.

‘Let’s email Sue right now,’ Bobbi said decisively. ‘We might have the name by midnight.’

‘Well is she legit or a scam artist? Because I think legitimate people give card readings and such things, not just shoot off emails willy-nilly. Let me see her website. I don’t want Anna caught up in anything dodgy,’ Mum had said.