Page 128 of The Wedding Forecast

Penny laughs and our conversation flows easily from there. We talk about my writing process, second-book syndrome, research, and how I develop my characters.

‘It may not seem like it at first, but this book is actually very romantic. Has your outlook on love changed in recent years?’ Penny asks.

‘Oh that’s an interesting question,’ I say. I can see Patrick beaming at me and clutching the flowers. I smile back at him. A few rows behind him, there’s Joel, his face serious. He has serious resting face though, so it doesn’t mean much. I see Hayley, her head on Luke’s shoulder, looking like she might have tears in her eyes. She cried at my first launch too. And she’s even more emotional this time because I dedicated the book to her and Luke.

And then my eyes land on a face at the back of the crowd. My vision goes blurry for a second, and I can’t quite catch my breath, because surely not. I blink rapidly, my heart rate skyrocketing. I look away, and back again.

It’s Mac.

Mac is here. At my book launch.

I must be hallucinating. Has the stress of the launch pushed me into a state of delusion? I wouldn’t be the first author to lose their grasp on reality at their book launch. I steady my hand against the side of my stool. I can’t faint—that won’t be good for sales.

But no. It is Mac. He’s standing there, up the back, in a nice, well-fitting shirt, holding a glass of wine.

His eyes meet mine. He smiles, a small uncertain smile.

My composure wobbles. My heart, which was already beating a million miles a second, is going even faster now. I feel dizzy. I clear my throat.

Mac is here.

I can’t think about it anymore because I need to talk now.

I am taking far too long to answer. The whole crowd is looking at me with concern. I clear my throat, and give a small laugh.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I say. ‘I, I just saw—never mind. Sorry. What was the question?’

‘I found your book to be quite romantic, much more so than your first one, and I was wondering if your outlook on love had changed?’ Penny says gently.

I train my eyes on Penny. I can’t risk looking at Mac again. It will undo me. I can feel my left hand shaking, so I slide it under my thigh.

‘I think it has, yes. I wrote this book when I was in a much more hopeful place. I was in a very different headspace when I wrote my first book.’

‘And what’s your headspace now?’ Penny says.

‘I’m still feeling pretty hopeful. About love,’ I say, smiling, nodding, sweating, wishing I could get off this stage right now and hide in the bathrooms.

There’s a small whoop when I say this, and it’s from Patrick, who is grinning broadly at me. I smile back at him weakly. My heart can’t handle whooping right now.

Penny eventually wraps up the questions, and the audience applauds, and Samantha takes the microphone and reminds everyone in a friendly way that books are for sale and that I’ll be waiting at the signing table to sign them.

I want to go straight to Mac, but I need to sign books, and I’m not ready to see him, mentally, and there’s wonderful Patrick, with my flowers, ready to publicly whoop again about our relationship, and Joel, who I regret inviting, a third man I have slept with here, who I now need to worry about when I really wish I didn’t have to think about any of them. Claire is steering me to the signing table, getting out the Post-its she puts on people’s books with their name, in case I panic and forget how to spell.

Deep breath. I have a job to do right now. Focus on that.

I get into the swing of being author Anna, smiling and laughing, making small talk, signing my books, stamping them with the black heart stamp I bought especially for this.

Patrick appears in front of me, proudly brandishing his copy.

Why didn’t I figure out ahead of time what I was going to write in his book?

‘One signed copy please,’ he says.

I write, Dear Patrick, and then hesitate.

‘Wait, I want to get a picture of you signing my book,’ he says, holding up his professional camera.

My hand holding the pen feels like it’s shaking. Who knows what my face looks like. I need to get it together. I turn my attention to the page and write thank you for being you and sign my name. I stamp the book with the heart, three times, and then slide it back to him.