Page 35 of First Kiss with a Mothman

“And hey, don’t forget the kissing.”

“I could never,” I reply. My heart pounds, fear of rejection and desire smacking around my chest like a bass drum. “Do you want to do this again?” I ask before I can talk myself out of it.

“Sure. We still have plenty on that list to do.”

Oh right, the list. He’s doing all of this as a favor to the blind kid on the block. My smile falls, and I sense a slight panic in Mort’s demeanor.

“That’s not, like…why I did it.” His wings stop buzzing, and I tilt my head.

“Huh?”

“You seemed really sad just now. I want you to know that I’m not…like, doing this out of duty. You are my friend.”

“Friend,” I repeat with a little too much sadness. Can’t forget the F-word.

“But I don’t, like…make out with any of my other friends, as few of them as there are. With you it’s like…” He steps forward and strokes my cheek. “You’re super attractive, Arie.”

I smile and lean into his touch. He continues, “But I’m not someone who’s cut out for a relationship.”

“Oh, right.”

“And hey now, you can kiss whomever you want. No pressure there!”

My heart sinks like a rock. “Mhm.” I step back.

“Please don’t be, like, upset.”

“Why would I be?” I ask in a deadpan tone. “We’re just buddies, and you’re helping me get my firsts out of the way.”

“Still, I wouldn’t offer to just any dude.” He steps forward and holds my shoulders. “You…are incredible. And sexy. And I really enjoy kissing you.”

When Mort leans forward, I can’t fight the pull he has on me. I know exactly where his face is and meet him halfway. I melt in another gentle kiss. I’m pouring my hopes and desires into a monster who doesn’t want anything serious.

“What does that make us?” I murmur against his lips.

“Friends. Good friends…” He strokes my cheek again and continues, “With benefits?”

“I suppose that’s…” A start. “That’s cool.”

“Great. Besides, you should kiss as many dudes as you can in college. That way you’ll know for sure what you like and don’t like.”

“Gaining experience.”

“Exactly,” he replies.

I smile and nod. Beggars can’t be choosers, and that’s true for me, a blind, gay college student.

“I’m gonna go study and shower and stuff.”

“Sure. I have to, as well,” he replies.

With a chuckle, I slowly lean forward and peck him on the lips. “Take care, buddy.”

“Later, Arie.” I can hear the smile on his mouth, then listen as he leaves my room.

When he’s gone, I sigh and take in his lingering scent. Mort claims he has desire for me, but he doesn’t do relationships. Still, his taste is something I could never forget, a memory forever ingrained in my heart. I have to be cool with my first kiss being with a friend, not a boyfriend―it’s a truth I’ll have to accept.

Going to college is all about branching out, and that means the occasional disappointment. Now I just need my heart to move on from memories of kissing a mothman.