Page 48 of Straightjacket

And Iris Winter will always be my last seven minutes.

The low setting Summer sun shines through the window, casting an orange glow on the dust particles that float around the living room as I sit in the wingback chair, gazing out across the pond. Crystal's dance across the surface as I spin the folded paper between my fingers. Blood clings to its fraying edges and I pry it open again, tracing the numbers across the bottom.

Even now I’m not really sure what they mean.

I stare down at them, then I lift my head at the sound of footsteps coming through the house.

“Lily is finally asleep,” Sophia says as she comes to sit in the opposite chair in front of me, a smile on her face. “She’s just as stubborn as her daddy.”

I laugh, nodding my head in agreement. “That she is.” There’s a sadness in my voice, a longing for someone who isn’t here and I have to push the tears away. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve cried, wishing that I could reverse the hands of time so that I could change this outcome– but that can never happen. Life is cruel and I’m left with no choice but to carry on, regardless of how much agony I’m in.

Sophia touches my knee, “I’m sorry, Iris. For everything.”

“Me too,” I murmur. “I just wish things would have ended differently.” She nods in agreement, then points towards the paper in my hand.

“Still not figured out the numbers?”

Shaking my head, I hand it over to her. “No, maybe you could have a go?”

I sit back in the chair and watch as she scans over the numbers. She looks exactly like him, with the same stormy eyes and strong nose. Lily does too and as much as it pains me to see him in their faces, I cherish that there’s parts of him here with me.

“Is there a safe in here?” Sophia blurts out, cutting off my sad thoughts. I try to take my mind around the house, scanning each room mentally then it hits me, and I stand.

“Follow me, I’m pretty sure there’s one in the bedroom.”

We both walk back through the house and into the main bedroom where I open the closet and push what little clothes I have aside. Just underneath them is a black safe. I never noticed it at first, not until I stubbed my toe on it and when I realised that I didn’t have the combination, I quickly gave up on it but now I might just have the chance to crack into it.

Stepping aside, I allow Sophia to kneel, and she begins spinning the silver dial on the front. Inside, the mechanisms click with every turn until the door springs open.

“You’ve done it?” I say in surprise and kneel next to her, then I slowly open it up, the both of us gasping in shock when we see what’s inside.

“Is that...”

Nodding my head, I finish her sentence. “Cash? Yeah, and lots of it by the looks of it.”

Sophia puts her hand inside and begins to pull the thick wads out, stacking them in neat piles on the floor until it forms into a mountain. Then she goes back in again, swishing her hand around until she finds something else.

In her hand, there’s a weathered envelope with my name on the front.

“I think this is for you.” She says, her tone softening slightly and I take it from her, a wash of nerves skirting across my skin as I turn it over to break the seal. The last time I opened letters, I ended up in a basement with nails in my knees so let’s just say that I don’t have a decent track record with them.

Once I have it open, I begin to pull out the letter and unfold it, going on to read it aloud.

“To my grand-daughter, Iris...”

It’s your granny here. If you’re reading this letter, then it means that lovely silent boy got you where you needed to be. I always knew he would.

I’m sorry I couldn’t give you this letter in person, and as much as I wish that I could, it just wasn’t possible but I’m happy that you’re reading it now, and that’s all that matters.

I just want you to know how much I loved you, and even if we never meet, I’ll always love you. In this life and the next.

You’re probably wondering what happened to me, but just know, I had the best company, right until the end and I hope he’s providing the same for you.

Cherish that man, sweetheart. After all, I always knew you’d find your way to each other.

Love granny.

The letter trembles in my hands as tears fall onto the page.