Page 2 of Formaldehyde

I fucking dare anyone to tell me I can’t love my sister this way.

I’ll kill them. Every single one of them.

Alina Ashcroft is mine.

Heavy footsteps at the bottom of the stairs break my trance and immediately Alina steps out of my proximity, then quickly scrambles to fasten her bra before slipping on an oversized band t-shirt and well worn jeans. Her perfect face is flustered, panic flashes in her eyes like we’ve been caught doing something we shouldn’t.

“You can’t be in here Ethan, dad will kill you.” It’s cute that she’s concerned for my safety, but what she doesn’t realise is that cunt downstairs will die by my hands.

Instead of causing a scene and putting my sister in the firing line, I take a step backwards until I’m out of her room, then turn to face our dad whose breathing is out of control as he clambers up the stairs. He manages to reach the top and the temptation to shove him back down them is high, but I keep my hands stuffed into the front pocket of my hoodie, facing him square on.

Immediately, a sourness hits my senses from his close proximity. “You better have been keeping your disgusting hands to yourself, boy.” He huffs out before lowering his sticky mouth to the side of my head. “I see the way you look at your sister, you fucking freak.”

His words have that blackness that’s inside of me, rising to the top. It screams at me to let it out, to allow it to spill all over the floor. I want to, believe me I do, but I’d hate for it to splash all over my little sister, to taint her perfect innocence. So I reel it in, but not before dropping my mouth to my dad’s ear.

“Fuck.. you.” I whisper with a deathly tone and he visibly begins to shake from the anger that’s bubbling inside of him, but before he can take a swing at me, Alina fills the gap between us both. Protecting her big brother.

“Dad, stop this. Ethan has done nothing wrong.” She begs and I can’t stop the sinister grin that plasters across my face from behind her, like a wicked devil sitting in her shadow.

Turns out you were wrong, dad. I’ll never keep my hands to myself where my little sister is concerned.

Alina winds her arms behind her back to lace her fingers with mine and I revel in her soft touch, cashmere against barbed wire. “I don’t understand what your problem is? Ethan is the only person I can rely on in this wretched house.”

My sister’s fierce streak slips out from underneath her soft demeanour and pride blooms in my chest.

“Listen here.” Our dad steps closer now, forcing Alina to step backwards into my chest. “This is my fucking house. My fucking rules, and if I catch that freak anywhere near you. I’ll kill him.” Alina’s grip tightens around my fingers at our dad’s threat and I quickly pull her behind me to put some distance between them both, then I take a step forward, going toe to toe with my father. His yellow stained eyes widen as I continue to walk forward, forcing him to take a step back until he’s teetering on the edge of the step.

His foot slips for a moment before he catches himself. My face inches from his. “Now you’re going to listen to me. I’m not some little pussy boy you can push around anymore, alright? I’ll fucking end you.” I bite and he jolts, “and if you ever.. threaten my sister again, I’ll skin you alive and turn you into wallpaper, then I’ll feed your disgusting insides to the neighbours dog.”

Anger rolls through my system like thunder and I can feel Alina’s presence before she enters my orbit, her manicured hand curling around my bicep. Her touch alone could crumble me to dust.

“Let’s go Ethan.” She whispers at my shoulder and I nod my head, but not before snapping my teeth at my dad, causing him to spin in fear like a scared puppy and stomp down the stairs, his heavy weight practically shakes the foundations of the house.

Turning on my heels, I tip my chin to gaze down at my little sister, whose eyes are burning with something that I can’t quite pin point. I know she feels this fire between us, this inferno that’s threatening to swallow us both whole but there’s a block in the connection, a break in the system that I can’t seem to fix.

Shame? Embarrassment maybe? Disgust at the thoughts she has for me but I’m never one to back down from a challenge. In fact, I’ll claw my way inside of her to drag out that sickening love she has for me.

I’ll stitch myself to her very soul until all she feels is me, just like I do with her.

Lifting my hand, I trace the tip of my finger across her forehead to brush a stray piece of hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear. She closes her eyes for a moment before returning that cloudy gaze back to me.

“I’ll always protect you, little sister.” I whisper.

Alina smiles up at me. “I know you will, big brother.”

Ican still feel the burn of Ethan’s touch across my skin from when he brushed my hair from off of my face. The way his gun metal eyes scorched into my soul, his threats against our dad are still ever present in my mind.

I’m the favourite between the two of us and I hate it. Me and Ethan are equals, and we should be treated as such. My heart breaks a little more each time my brother is shunned down, reducing him to a hollow shell, except when he’s around me. That’s when he really comes alive, his true colours shining through.

Ethan is my big brother. Bonded by blood, yet I can’t stop these sinister feelings that burst to life inside of me when I think of him. If anyone found out about my feelings, no doubt I’d be shunned for the rest of my life but somewhere deep down, I can’t seem to find an ounce of care. I’m just too ashamed to admit it.

The loud rumble of Ethan’s bike knocks me out of my daze as I stand at the edge of the curb to wait for my best friend to pick me up for college. I should have been there at least an hour earlier but I was distracted by my brother. I try to keep my eyes glued to my converse but that magnetic pull that fizzles every time we’re near each other is too strong for me to deny.

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I tilt my head to the side to watch him reverse the black bike out from the side of the house, the engine rumbling low in the quiet street. Ethan is covered in all black clothing– his jeans cling to his muscular thighs like a second skin and I can feel my heart rattling around in my chest, threatening to burst out of my rib cage and splat on the floor.

His face is completely covered in a black helmet and I can just imagine him running his inked hands through his onyx hair before slipping the helmet on.

Ethan must notice me when he slowly turns his head to the side and I swear my skin prickles with awareness. He lifts his gloved hand and flicks the black visor up, revealing his dark grey eyes that hide so many secrets.