Page 37 of Hate You Most

Viktoriya glared at her rival.

“Because of so many things, okay!”

“Because of what?”

She couldn't say it even though they were completely alone. She couldn't even think the thought aloud inside her own head.

“Can you stop?” She asked Dakota instead, fully aware she was changing the subject. Viktoriya just needed her to shut up. This wasn't a discussion she was ever going to have. “Can you just stop? Can we stop talking about this?”

Dakota looked at her for a long moment. “Do you love me?”

Viktoriya took her eyes off Dakota and onto the wall and row of hotel doors behind her. She looked back at her, at those emerald, green eyes, and said the exact opposite of what she wanted to say, hoping it would make this conversation cease existing. “You need to stop being so emotional all of the time, Dakota. It ruins your skating, and it is the reason you lost the gold medal tonight. You skate with your entire body, it's weak.”

Dakota took a step away and lowered her voice. “Fucking hell, is that all you have to say? I’m going home tomorrow morning and all you have to say is that I’m weak?”

Viktoriya's jaw tightened. She said nothing.

Dakota shook her head in disbelief. “I’m getting on a plane tomorrow morning. Actually, it's not even tomorrow, it's in like seven hours.” Her voice cracked before hardening again. “After four years of this. Four years of competing against you, training with you, and that's what you've got to say?”

“You lost because you made mistakes,” Viktoriya said flatly.

“Oh, bullshit.”

“It is true.”

“No.” Dakota took a step closer. “It's not.”

The distance between them shrunk to almost nothing. Viktoriya could see the freckles across Dakota's nose. The remnants of glitter on her cheeks and eyelids from the competition makeup. The exhaustion in her eyes.

“You know what?” Dakota laughed bitterly. “I don't even care that I lost anymore.”

“Liar.”

“No, it's true,” she said. “I've never cared about winning as much as you do, Viktoriya. Sure, winning is nice and I enjoy figure skating, but I'm not obsessive about it like you are. Do you care about anything else?”

“I care about skating. It's my life.”

“Yeah, I care about skating too, but it's not my entire life. I have other hobbies, I have friends. I have so many different things that I care about.”

Viktoriya hated how easily Dakota could do that—strip away every defense she'd ever known. Her walls had been stripped away with a single conversation.

“I have friends,” Viktoriya said.

“God, you're a terrible liar.”

Viktoriya's pulse jumped.

Dakota noticed. Of course she did. They were standing less than a foot apart.

“You know what?” Dakota tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You might think that I'm too emotional on the ice, that's fine. At least I'm actually honest with myself,” she took a breath. “I might be weak, sure, but you're a goddamn liar, Viktoriya. You want everyone to think you're this cold figure skating machine that doesn't have any emotions and only cares about winning, but that's not true now, is it?”

Whatever space that remained between them was irrelevant because Dakota somehow managed to move even closer. Their noses nearly touched. “I see right through you. I know you have emotions, I know you care about other things that just winning, because I know that you care about me. You love me, and I don't need you to say it back. I can feel it in just the look in your fucking eyes.”

Something inside of Viktoriya snapped completely in half. She lost the control and composure she'd been so desperate to keep. “Doesn't fucking matter If I love you or not—I don't get a choice in any of it. I don't get to pick!”

Dakota’s jaw tightened. “So, what? What are you saying right now?”

"I'm not…” The words got lost on the way out of her mouth. “Whatever you call it, whatever it is… I'm not, I can't be.”