Page 1 of Stained Honor

Chapter One

Gabriel sleeps peacefully in his crib, his tiny fists curled beside his head. There’s a serenity in his face, a pure, untouched peace in his little body that makes me forget, just for one fleeting second, the violent storm raging inside my chest.

But the moment passes.

The guilt returns like a knife twisting slowly between my ribs. A decision I made. One I was never sure was right, yet I had no other choice. Now I’m drowning in the aftermath, choking on the fear of what comes next.

I reach out with trembling fingers and gently brush the impossibly soft skin of my son’s cheek, careful not to wake him. I lean down, pressing my lips to his warm skin, inhaling that sweet, pure scent. Maybe his scent will give me the courage I need to face Carlo.

I have to be the one to tell him.

Before the words reach him from someone else’s mouth, I need to look him in the eyes and confess that I betrayed him.

Betrayal.

The word alone tastes like poison on my tongue. A single tear escapes and slides down my cheek before I can stop it.

I straighten my spine, wipe the tear away, and turn to Matias, who stands silently in the corner like a shadow.

“Watch over Gabriel for me,” I whisper.

Matias is a beast of a man, six foot something tall, with arms so thick each bicep is the size of my thigh. His face is carved from violence and his reputation is soaked in blood. But next to Giorgio, he’s the only person I trust with my son. Not only because he’s fiercely loyal to Carlo, but because he has a baby of his own. I’ve seen how that ruthless killer looks at his child with a kind of terrifying tenderness that no one else gets to witness. The same man who can snap bones without blinking handles my son like he’s made of fragile glass.

I take a deep, shaky breath and walk toward the bar room.

The door is open. The deep, cruel laughter of Maxim and Brando spills into the hallway as they gleefully recount how they shattered Tony’s bones earlier tonight.

I step inside.

They’re both sprawled on the large circular couch, drinks in hand, looking every bit the dangerous predators they are. Giorgio stands in the corner like always, alert and watchful, like he’s expecting someone to storm the house at any second. Lorenzo’s sitting on one of the stools behind the bar, distracted by his phone.

And Carlo…

He’s stretched out in the armchair beside Brando and Maxim, his right ankle resting over his left knee, one forearm draped lazily over the armrest, a square crystal glass hanging from his fingers. He doesn’t say much. Just listens to his brother and right-hand man with a faint smile curling at his lips and pride burning in his eyes, like a king admiring the aftermath of a victory.

He might be wearing nothing more than black jeans and a fitted black T-shirt, but the power wrapped around him makes it impossible to mistake him for an ordinary man. Carlo carries authority like second skin. Effortless. Dangerous.

The second he notices me, those cold gray eyes lock onto mine, tightening the knot already choking my throat.

Still sprawled back against the chair, he holds a hand out toward me.

“Come here, baby.”

And my body moves before my mind can catch up, drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

I settle onto his thick thighs and bury my face in the curve of his neck. His scent, the heat of his body, the softness in the way he holds me, the strong arms wrapping around me… it all adds another unbearable feeling to the mess already clawing through my chest. Guilt.

This man turned my quiet, painfully ordinary life upside down years ago. He made me his queen, he kisses the ground I walk on, and in return he’s only ever asked for one thing.

Loyalty.

And today, even if I never meant to… I betrayed him.

The mere thought of losing him sends a violent shiver through me, and before I realize it, I’m clinging to him harder. My fingers fist in his T-shirt.

He lowers his head slightly and murmurs, “You okay?”

Unable to look him in the eyes, I just nod.