Page 48 of Sorry

When she left us to go to the back of the shop, I whirled on him and whispered, “You didn’t have to do that if you weren’t ready to come out.”

“I don’t owe anybody an explanation, but Pup, I would shout from the rooftops that you are mine.” The look he gave me was full of love, my throat tightened with emotion. I gathered the front of his shirt in my fist and pulled him down for a kiss.

“Ehem. Here we are. Pink Peonies.” She was trying to hide her smirk. Handing Alex the flowers. Luckily, Amy noticed Alex was about to sneeze again and she quickly pulled them away. That got me laughing again. I took the beautiful flowers from her, thanking her while Alex was trying to pay, fighting for his life trying not to sneeze again.

“Let's go Honey, before you sneeze your brains out.”

CHAPTER 50

ALEX

Thank God Matt had enough brains to put the flowers in the back, and I had enough time to stop having sneeze attacks.

“I will wait in the van for you guys, don’t rush, I brought stuff to read.” Matt assured us.

“Thank you Matt.” Sam said, behind a mountain of flowers he had to hold.

“I am sorry sweetheart, I would carry them but by the time we get to the plots, there would be no more flowers.” I apologized.

He giggled and with a muffled voice said, “I’m ok. I will just follow your voice.”

He was laughing and joking which meant the nerves from earlier were pushed to the side. I was so glad he was not freaking out but as soon as we were approaching the family plot, Sam was falling back behind me, slowing down.

“Are you okay Pup?” rubbing his back, “Come on, it will be okay.”

“I am trying,” Sam whispered.

“I am here sweetheart, if you want to turn around and go back home, we can come back another time.” I offered.

“I have to do it now or I will keep chickening out.” his tone determined.

He stopped, looking down at his shoes, then he crouched down and dropped one bouquet to the double plot of Sonja and Branko Petrovich. And a foot away he set the other one on the resting place of Mila Petrovich. He sat down so he was in the middle of all three of them and I joined him on the ground.

“Mama… Tata… Bako… IZVINITE!" Mom… Dad… Granny… I am so sorry! Bursting into tears he spoke in Serbian to his family, he was inconsolable. Cocooning him in my arms I let him cry, he needed this, it was overdue.

“Guys…” he sniffles, "This is my boyfriend Alex. I don’t want to talk to you about Kyle, the only thing I will say is I am so sorry I didn’t listen. I am so ashamed. But look I am finally happy and Alex takes care of me like I am precious. He is the kindest man you will ever meet.” He was rambling and then he suddenly went quiet for a few seconds in my arms, “I love him.” He looked up at me with those big eyes; that drew me in the first time we crashed into each other, my heart skipped a beat.

I kissed him softly, still looking at him and addressed his family, “Your son is the best thing that ever happened to me. You guys should be proud. And um… nice to meet ya’ll.” He cuddled into me on the grass, peace settling around us. We switched from talking to his family, then to each other. We stayed there for about an hour before deciding Matt had waited long enough for us. Walking beside each other, Sam took my hand and gave me a little squeeze.

“Thank you for this Alex, If it wasn’t for you I would have probably avoided facing them forever and end up regretting it. I appreciate you.”

“You were ready, Pup, and I knew it would be good for you to get some closure, I don’t think you had that.” I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed his palm.

“No I didn’t, I was roped in to moving in with him while trying to grieve and was not allowed to be sad, he told me to get over it. He spun it saying it was not healthy, that he was worried. But he just didn’t want to deal with me. I believed he was doing it all because he loved me, but you showed me what love and support should really look like.”

“I love you Sam, I am always going to be here for you in good and bad moments.” I promised.

When we got to the van, Matt didn't notice us approaching the window. I noticed Matt looking at his phone at the picture of him and Jake smiling both at the camera, but Matt was looking at his phone and it looked like his eyes were full of tears. I knocked on the window and he scrambled to turn his phone off and wipe his eyes under his glasses trying to hide it.

“Hey man. What's wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing , um… I was just watching… Anyways, how did it go?” Obviously changing the subject, I wouldn’t press him now but I would definitely revisit this when I caught him on his own because that was very odd.

“Yeah, I needed that, Alex was right. I am so glad I didn't chicken out.” Sam said, walking around to get into the van and I followed behind.

The ride back home was quiet and a little bit awkward but only for me and Matt because Sam didn’t see Matt looking so sad earlier. When we returned home, Matt wouldn’t come up with us when we asked him, making excuses he had stuff he needed to do and went home.

It was getting late so we reheated leftovers and ate, cuddled up on the couch recapping our day. This was all I ever wanted and now I had it. I was one lucky bastard.