Page 14 of Hard as Steel

Steel’s hardened expression cracked the newly healed place in his heart. “No.” He focused on Sandy again. “You are welcome to join us if you’d like.”

Sandy’s gaze flickered between them. He looked uncomfortable. “Thanks for the offer, guys. I just spotted you and wanted to say hi. I was actually on my way out.”

Steel nodded. Everything about him had transformed from the laughing man he showed Sandy to the guarded person he was with Krystof.

Krystof’s chest hurt. “Seriously. I’m okay with you staying if you’d like to visit. Steel seems to consider you a good friend.” There. He was an adult. Krystof could do this. He had gone into his bid to win Steel again with his eyes open. Krystof knew there would be other men. Steel was much too sexy to overlook.

While Sandy’s smile had transformed during Krystof’s speech about leaving, he still smiled. This was hell. Sandy looked like a good person. Why wouldn’t Steel just let him leave?

“Nah. You two look cozy, and I’m seriously on my way out. I have a friend who lives around here. Ex-cop I used to work with. I’m going to look him up and grab a beer.”

Krystof dipped his chin. He dropped his gaze to the table and blinked back tears the moment Sandy looked away.

“I’m in town for a couple more days. Before I leave, I’ll text you. Maybe we can grab lunch.”

“Sounds good.”

Krystof tuned them out and stared at the silverware. He shouldn’t have turned around this morning. Krystof swallowed a huge breath, trying to break the panic setting in. He shouldn’t be here. Steel had laughed with Sandy. His eyes had done that gorgeous crinkling they did when he was genuinely happy. Steel hadn’t looked that way since Krystof came to town. He was wrong to invade Steel’s life again after the way he had destroyed them. He sucked in another deep breath. A sound like air leaving a balloon came from deep inside his chest. There was no oxygen. He would start crying any second. There was no avoiding the tears. The stress had been too much for too long. Krystof hadn’t known a true moment of peace since hurting Steel. He had to get out of here.

His chin shot up. He couldn’t see past an odd blur that covered his vision. “I have to get out of here. You should stay. He laughs and smiles with you. I can get a car. Please, just stay with him. He shouldn’t eat lunch alone.”

Before he could take a step, he was somehow back in his seat. Steel was on his knees beside him, holding his hands. “Breathe with me.”

Krystof focused on Steel’s face. He couldn’t see anything else.

Steel looked so calm and in control. “Seriously, Kryssy. Look at me and breathe.”

Krystof followed Steel’s breathing until the room cleared and sound returned. “Oh, God.” Horror washed over him. “Sorry. I take meds, but the panic attacks are still getting worse. Oh my God. I didn’t mean to ruin lunch.” He looked in the direction where Sandy had sat to apologize. There was no one there.

“Don’t worry. He was already gone before your attack began. Just look at me.”

Krystof went back to staring into Steel’s captivating eyes.

Steel rubbed Krystof’s hands as if trying to warm them. “When did these start, baby?”

At the endearment, a vise released his throat. “Um.” He tried to think. “The day you moved your things out.” The more he came back to himself, the more mortified he became. “Damn it. I’m so sorry.” His shoulders fell. “Of course, I ruined lunch because… of course, I did.”

Someone rubbed his back.

For a second, Krystof was confused. Steel was still on his knees in front of him.

The server spoke, horrifying him even more. “Are you okay, sir? Do I need to call for an ambulance?”

Steel focused on her, saving Krystof from melting through the floor in embarrassment. “No. He just needs his medicine. Can we get everything packed to go? I need to get him out of here.”

“On it.”

Krystof covered his eyes. He didn’t even want to know how many people watched him. His father was rolling in his grave for literally everything about Krystof. A disappointment from day one.

Steel moved back to his chair.

Krystof sat straight and kept his eyes on nothing. He would weather this the way he did everything: with a stiff upper lip and an even stiffer drink. As far as he knew, no one had ever died from humiliation. Maybe he would be the first one.

Chapter Six

“I can’t believe I’m about to spend three whole weeks sleeping without you. That hasn’t happened not once in our entire relationship.”

Krystof kissed the forearm around his neck. “You’ll be so busy, you won’t have time to miss me.”