Page 21 of Golden Ruin

I swallow it all down, doing my best to live in the present and leave the past where it belongs.

“You’ll butcher it,” I shoot back, searching for any excuse not to sit my ass in that chair, but his smile grows.

“I won’t. Promise. Now sit,” he says with a gentle command, and I can’t seem to stop my feet from walking toward him. I stare, watching as he cranks the lever on the side of the seat with his foot, raising it to accommodate his taller-than-average height. And then… I sit.

What the fuck am I doing?

I almost ask myself that question out loud because I know better. Know better than to be in his space. Know better than to let him feel obligated to take care of me. And yet… I’m sitting in the seat in front of him while he starts fluffing my hair. He evaluates me like some stuck-up stylist would do, hollowing his cheeks as he narrows his eyes, pretending he’s about to make me into a masterpiece.

“What the fuck is happening right now?” I snort, losing the battle not to laugh at his dumb ass.

“Finding your angle,” he teases, raking his fingertips over my scalp.

“Oh, God. Just cut it already. It’s gonna look crazy no matter what you do.”

He stops with the act, but keeps moving his hands through my curls, and as the moment quiets, those thoughts of the past creep back in.

“Nah, I’ve got you,” he promises, and for some crazy reason, I trust that.

My eyes wander around the bathroom, only having seen anything like it in movies. Eventually, I’m staring at the mirror again, but not at myself. I’m watching him. He’s so focused as he finally grabs the scissors from a drawer and decides where he’ll start.

I can’t watch.

“Today was a good day,” I say, hoping to distract myself. “Jax seems to be doing okay.”

Sterling nods but doesn’t take his eyes off my hair as he starts snipping. “Yeah. The kid’s made of Teflon.”

I smile at that. “Pretty much.”

“Did he talk about the fire at all? Ask any questions?”

I almost shake my head but then remember he’s in the middle of cutting. “Nope. Not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. Maybe I should bring it up? See if he wants to talk about anything?”

Sterling shakes his head. “Nah, I wouldn’t. He’s not really one to hold things in. If he’s got something to say, he’ll come to us.”

My heart settles with that. He’s right. The kid has my bluntness, and his father’s confidence. There isn’t much that rattles him.

“Talk to anyone today? Our friends, I mean.”

At first, I’m not sure why he made the distinction. Then, for half a second, I wonder if he wanted to clarify that he wasn’t asking about Matt.

I shake my head. “No. Not really. I mean, I responded to a few texts, but I wanted to focus on Jax. Couldn’t really focus on anything else.”

He nods, and I know he gets it.

A chunk of hair falls down my shoulder when he snips off more. I take a deep breath and, again, try not to focus on that.

“You’ve got a doctor appointment coming up soon, right?”

I almost nod again. “Yeah. I wrote down the date but can’t remember off the top of my head. Thanks for the reminder. I’ll shoot Benny a text in the morning to see if he’ll take me.”

“I’ll take you.”

The response comes so quickly, I hardly have time to form a thought between my sentence and his.

“You don’t have to do–”

“I’ll take you,” he repeats, and it’s even more resolute than the first time. Like it’s been decided for me. “I already talked to Coach and told him I’ll probably be absent for a few workouts, and he’s cool with it.”